Long before Stefon, 'SNL's' resident weirdo was Dieter, the bizarre host of the arty West German television series 'Sprockets.' The recurring sketch produced such memorable catchphrases as "I'm as happy as a little girl" and "Touch my monkey!" (We didn't have the internet and a million cable channels back then, kids. Cut us some slack.)
During the late '90s, Myers wrote a script for a 'Sprockets' movie with 'SNL' scribes Michael McCullers and Jack Handey of "Deep Thoughts" fame. Reports say the script, which followed Dieter's quest to retrieve his lost monkey Klaus, was a hilarious spoof of foreign films with plenty of fish-out-of-water gags. The cast would've included David Hasselhoff (as Norm MacDonald used to say on Weekend Update, Germans love David Hasselhoff) and then up-and-coming comedy stars Jack Black and Will Ferrell, making its failure even more bittersweet.
However, Myers had problems with the script, and dropped out of the project. This led to a huge legal battle, where Imagine Entertainment and Universal Studios sued Myers for a combined amount of $33.8 million. There were also allegations from Myers' former Second City colleague Dana Andersen, who claimed to have cocreated the character and developed many of his popular catchphrases. (Here's a clip of Andersen and Myers performing as "Kurt and Dieter" on the series 'It's Only Rock 'N Roll' before the character appeared on 'SNL.')
Myers countersued Universal and Imagine for defamation, and released a statement saying that, "I cannot in good conscience accept $20 million and cheat moviegoers...with an unacceptable script." The situation got so heated that Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenberg had to step in to mediate. As part of the settlement, Myers reportedly had to star in Universal's 'Cat in the Hat.' So not only did we miss out on what could've potentially been the funniest movie of Myers career, we were instead forced to watch him mugging it up in a creepy cat costume.