A few months back I was shocked to discover a good friend of mine had never seen ‘Game of Thrones.’ While there are plenty of powerful selling points for the widely acclaimed series, I went with, "Dude! It's like ‘Lord of the Rings’ with boobs!" And it worked. But as I shrieked over the horrible, soul-shattering events of the Red Wedding, I began to worry I hadn’t properly prepared my pal for the show’s high death toll drawbacks. When I got a text telling me he couldn’t believe King Robert died, I expected he would pretty devastated when he finally caught up to the Red Wedding. He was. He really was.

Reading the texts I’ve recreated below, I finally understood how all those smug readers felt watching the rest of us freak out the night that episode aired. My friend’s grief and outrage was so epic that I just had to share, because we’ve all been there. But few have been as able to properly articulate their hilarious despair.

Kristy Puchko

Photoshop maven Kristy Puchko is also a film critic/movie blogger who has written for Cinema Blend, Next Movie, Jezebel, The Film Stage, and Critical Mob. You can read her movie reviews here, or follow her on Twitter @KristyPuchko