The Best ’30 Rock’ Quotes
'30 Rock' hasn't even ended yet and we're already preparing to miss it desperately, so to take the edge off, we've put together a list of the best lines from the show.
- 1
"I'm as happy as a clam that wants to kill some woman."
-- Tracy Jordan - 2
"I can talk to animals! Well, not talk to them. I can take commands from them."
-- Kenneth Parcell - 3
"Without me you'd still be behind that lightboard in Chicago turning bags of Sour Patch Kids inside out to lick them clean."
-- Jenna Maroney - 4
"Keep in mind, we Hornbergers are notorious cowards. On D-Day, my grandfather wore a German uniform under his American one—just in case."
-- Pete Hornberger - 5
"You look like that flash card they told me means sadness."
-- Jenna Maroney - 6
"I want to roll my eyes right now, but the doctor says that if I keep doing it, my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs."
-- Liz Lemon - 7
"Female jealousy is an evolutionary fact, Lemon. If you try to breed it out of them, you wind up with a lesbian with hip dysplasia."
-- Jack Donaghy - 8
"When I first started working here, an eight-year-old Shirley Temple showed me how to roll a cigarette."
-- Kenneth Parcell - 9
"Last time I taught, I was like Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society--by which I mean I got fired."
-- Pete Hornberger - 10
"'TGS with Tracy Jordan' without Tracy Jordan is an oxymoron, like 'liberal government' or 'female scientist.'"
-- Jack Donaghy - 11
"Listen up, Fives. A Ten is speaking."
-- Jenna Maroney - 12
"We produce more failed pilots than the French air force."
-- Jack Donaghy - 13
"All right, now that the popsicle's melted we've got ourselves a tongue depressor."
-- Dr. Leo Spaceman - 14
"It's after six. What am I, a farmer?"
-- Jack Donaghy on why he's wearing a tux - 15
"It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain!"
-- Kenneth Parcell - 16
"Boy, it's crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up. Different time, the '60s."
-- Dr. Leo Spaceman - 17
"Drama is like gay man Gatorade. It replenishes their electrolytes."
-- Jenna Maroney - 18
"I look forward to reading your obituary."
-- Jenna Maroney - 19
"Lemon, you look terrible, and I once watched you eat oysters while you had a cold."
-- Jack Donaghy - 20
"You know how the media are. They wait for a mistake and that's all you are. It happened to Hitler. No one ever talks about his paintings."
-- Jack Donaghy
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