Professional writer for Uproxx.com, GammaSquad.com, Guyspeak.com, Guyism.com, Zug.com, and innumerable other sites. He writes the Internet, basically.
Dan Seitz
Man Scans Ants Eating His Scanner
The term "bug", in computer lingo, comes from one of the first computer errors, where the computer operator literally found a cockroach in its guts. Since then, "bugs" tend to be programming errors, and insects largely stay out of computers. Unless you put them in there deliberately, like Francois Vautier.
Facebook Rats Out Man With Two Wives
Sadly, he did not live in St. Ives, but Alan O'Neill did, in fact, have two wives. The really sad thing, though, is that it wasn't because he was cheating. He had two wives because he was lazy and passive aggressive.
Nintendo High Heels Will Level You Up
Every child of the '80s loves Nintendo. It's built into their DNA, along with knowing all the lyrics to the "Full House" theme and owning at least one piece of "Alf" merchandise. But some people take their love a bit further than others. Like, painting shoes further.
20 Hilariously Awful ‘Lois Lane’ Comic Book Covers
Comic books have not always been the enlightened bastions of feminism they are now. Back in the '50s and '60s, they were...let's just say they were a reflection of the times. And just like Superman could be a real jerk, Lois Lane had her less-than-PC moments too. A lot of the...
Senate Candidate Hank The Cat Victim of Vicious Attack Ad
You've probably heard of Hank, the cat running for a Senate seat in Virginia. You might have thought, "Awwwwww, how cute!" But do you know what lurks under that adorable exterior?
Teenage Mutant Stop Motion Turtles!
Kyle Roberts really loves the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He loves them so much, in fact, that he lovingly recreated the opening using nothing but action figures and hand-drawn animation. Seriously.
Jerk Sticks His Mom With $123,000 in Unpaid Tolls
We feel safe in calling Peter Davis a jerk. Not because we know him personally; we'd never heard of the Englewood, NJ resident before yesterday. But it's how we heard of him: using his mom's car to buy drugs in New York and not paying tolls on the George Washington Bridge.
Now his mom's on the hook for $123,000 from 6,600 violations that Davis somehow successfully hid from her. This is why you
Procatinator Is Here, Your Weekend Is Now Booked
The Internet loves cats. This is a fact demonstrated by website after website, Facebook entry after Facebook entry, email forward after email forward. But leave it to a website to sum up why we love cats...and set it to music. Meet the Procatinator, the website that'll eat all your free time.
Justin Bieber Goes Up Against Joustin’ Beaver
Justin Bieber gets made fun of a lot. It's part and parcel of being a big celebrity: people tease you for everything from your fashion choices to your music. And generally he takes it in good stride, considering he's seventeen and half the Internet makes fun of him on a daily basis. But apparently one app on the iPhone has taken the ribbing just a little too far.
Man Tests Bulletproof Vest By Shooting Himself [NSFW]
There are many ways to test bulletproof technology. The classic way is, of course, to actually shoot it. But as a rule, you're not wearing it and you're not shooting it point blank at your stomach. WARNING: stupidity and highly NSFW language ahead!
The 10 Worst Thanksgivings On Film [NSFW]
Thanksgiving seems to be a perfect time of year for horror movies. Bad food, worse TV, relatives you can't stand that you have to spend hours around...a violent slasher coming over would actually be a huge relief. Here are ten movies that actually are honest about what Thanksgiving is like. (No...
Jeremy Lin Wants To Copyright “Linsanity”
You probably won't be surprised about this, but Jeremy Lin would rather have control over his name. And following his astronomical rise to fame, there's been a just as astronomical rise in pirate Linsanity merchandise. But can he trademark his own name?
300-Pound Man Walks Into Wal-Mart Naked, Steals Socks
Many, many strange things happen at Wal-Mart. In fact, Wal-Mart is kind of a weirdness magnet; if you don't believe us, just go to one at 3am. But even we have never seen anything quite like this.
Kevin Costner Speaks At Whitney Houston’s Funeral
There was some question as to whether or not Kevin Costner would speak at Whitney Houston's funeral. Costner, of course, starred with Houston in "The Bodyguard", an enormous hit for both of them. But there was some question, especially as Costner had stated he'd only speak if the family asked him to. Apparently, they did.
Mind Control Over Cats Is an Awesome Power
Telepathy exists, some insist. It can even allow us to control the thoughts of others. Well, if others are adorable kitties.