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20 Hilariously Awful ‘Lois Lane’ Comic Book Covers

superman returns
Warner Bros.
Comic books have not always been the enlightened bastions of feminism they are now. Back in the '50s and '60s, they were…let's just say they were a reflection of the times. And just like Superman could be a real jerk, Lois Lane had her less-than-PC moments too. A lot of them, actually. In celebration of International Women's Day and how just how far women have come, here are 20 of Superman's gal Lois Lane's most unfortunate moments.


1

Maybe You Should Try Calling a Boat

 
 

Gee, Lois, if you're stuck on what seems to be a well-engineered raft with some boxes and a radio, maybe you should try calling the Coast Guard instead of playing pranks on fish. Aquaman has enough to do.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
2

We Think We Saw This In High School Once

 
 

We're not sure what makes this cover worse: the two women acting like they're 14, or the really disturbing crazy eyes on both of them. Seriously. Those are ax-murderin' eyes.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
3

Wait, What?

 
 

So, a Mexican stereotype has fooled Superman into leaving while Lois is tied to a target with a bunch of men in straw hats ready to throw normal-sized darts at her? This might be a bit of a troubling peek at this cover artist's psyche. Either that or he had some really good drugs.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
4

Old People Are Disgusting and Should Be Ashamed of Themselves

 
 

Yeah, because Superman's never been turned into an old man. Or a baby. Or a dog. Or a midget. Or a horse. On the other hand, he's not exactly a nice guy, either, so maybe Lois is right here.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
5

Spatial Relations - Not Lois' Strong Suit

 
 

Or Superman is holding you upside down to mess with you, Lois. Which do you think is more likely?

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
6

More Hot Spicy Racism!

 
 

"Quick, Lois! Abandon that child to the angry, rock-throwing mob!" Then again, Lois is the one dressing in a bad Halloween costume, so maybe the kid's better off.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
7

Still More Hot Spicy Racism

 
 

Oh, you think this is bad? Check out the actual story in this issue. At least they meant well, but this is not the finest moment of race relations in comics.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
8

If a Guy Won't Marry You, Turning Yourself Invisible Is Not Going to Help

 
 

Yeah, Lois, if you've decided to turn yourself invisible just to prove to some guy who won't date you that you're marriage material, you might want to review your priorities.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
9

Attempted Murder and Extortion - The Healthy Foundation to Marriage

 
 

Comic book writers loved giving Lois superpowers in the old days, apparently because the idea of a woman having immense power was shocking and unexpected. But, of course, she always lost it by the end of the issue and Superman went on his merry way, avoiding matrimony yet again while Lois became a bitter crying shell of herself. And it was a comic aimed at kids. Hi-larious!

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
10

Oh, Those Crazy Backstabbing Females

 
 

Yeah, Lana, we're sure a guy calling himself "Ideal Man" is a total dreamboat. He doesn't sound self-involved AT ALL.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
11

This Was Not a Good Plan, Lois

 
 

So, you were going to turn Superman, and yourself, into teenagers and this would help you get married...how...precisely?

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
12

Or You Could Try Not Being a Jerk, Supes

 
 

So, wait, he won't let go of his old girlfriends and this is somehow Lois' fault? We sure hope he pays for her therapy bills out of his Daily Planet salary.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
13

This Explains #9 Pretty Well

 
 

What really makes this cover is how utterly oblivious the wedding party is to Lois' obvious misery. That and the fact that Clark Kent apparently married Lois without tipping her off about that little secret of his.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
14

"If You'd Just Agreed to the Jail Cell..."

 
 

File this under "Things You Should Have Thought Of, and Things He Should've Brought Up."

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
15

Girls Don't Need to Be Smart!

 
 

The sad thing is that the 'Superman' villain Bizzaro means the opposite of what he says, so he's actually insulting her. Also, we like how it's bad for a woman to be smart, even if she happens to be a respected investigative journalist for a major metropolitan newspaper.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
16

OK, This Is Just Creepy

 
 

"I don't mind. I've just got to choke down this rage and self-hatred and keep knitting!" Also, that's Superman's cousin he's hugging, and it's just a little skeevy.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
17

Her Secret Is She's Got the Neck Muscles to Support a Lead Box

 
 

Seriously, that thing must weigh 50 pounds. That can't be healthy. Also, apparently Lois can pop rivet together a box with a speaker within a few minutes of something happening to her face. That's actually kind of awesome. Why does she need Superman again? Oh, right, sexism.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
18

"Thank Rao, I'm Off the Hook!"

 
 

You know Superman is just doing this so when Lois changes her mind, he can be a total jerk about it.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
19

No, His Secret Is That He's Creepy

 
 

Yeah, if a dude has a room with a gold bust of you, and a life-size photo of you two cuddling, and you're not dating, marrying him is about the last thing you want to do.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com
20

He's a Jerk, But He's Also Right

 
 

Yeah, he's really got a point there.

 
milehighcomics.com
milehighcomics.com

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