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The 10 Worst Thanksgivings On Film [NSFW]

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Thanksgiving seems to be a perfect time of year for horror movies. Bad food, worse TV, relatives you can't stand that you have to spend hours around…a violent slasher coming over would actually be a huge relief. Here are ten movies that actually are honest about what Thanksgiving is like. (Note: the trailers below contained violent NSFW footage.)


1

'Home Sweet Home'

 
 

Also known by the hilariously generic 'Slasher In The House,' it's actually a pretty bland slasher movie, but it has three very important distinctions: one, it's set during Thanksgiving; two, the slasher is played by '80s exercise guru Jake Steinfeld of "Body by Jake" fame, which makes for some really surreal moments; and three, one of the victims is the single most annoying KISS fan named Mistake. Really. We're not sure what, precisely, KISS did to the screenwriter, but it must have been horrible.

 
2

'Blood Rage'

 
 

This is a Thanksgiving classic about two twins. Oh, and one's a murderer. Probably the best thing about this movie is contained in the very bloody trailer below, namely the scene with dear old whoever the heck he is getting his beer hand sliced off. Remember kids: drinking kills.

 
3

'Seance'

 
 

See, kids, this is why you put away the Ouija board over Thanksgiving. It just does not end well. Especially when you bring back the child killer who got the chair thirty years ago. Ask any resident of Elm Street how that went.

 
4

'Alien Abduction: Incident At Lake County'

 
 

This one is actually based off of "The McPherson Tape,' a 1988 movie made by the same director, and mostly explores a Thanksgiving where creatures inconceivable distances to mutilate cattle and basically ruin one family's Thanksgiving because...uh...well basically to mess with the McPhersons. And yes, that's Emmanuelle Chriqui, believe it or not.

 
5

'ThanksKilling'

 
 

Why this movie didn't have the tagline: "This holiday, turkey butchers you" we don't know, and it's a disgrace. Also that it took this long for a killer turkey movie to get made.

 
6

'Thanksgiving'

 
 

Supposedly, this fake trailer from 'Grindhouse' is being made into a full-length movie, but we don't understand why. They've already shot all the best parts. Well, maybe they could cut the turkey-stuffing scene.

 
7

'Madman'

 
 

We know there are a lot of plot holes in slasher movies, but we do kind of have to ask what kind of terrible parents unload their kids on a camp for the Thanksgiving holiday. Then again, considering what annoying little trolls these kids turn out to be, maybe they were hoping the kids would get offed by a shoeless madman.

 
8

'Boogeyman'

 
 

Oh, please, a PG-13 horror movie can't even begin to truly capture the terror of Thanksgiving. Check out Uncle Carl after five beers and his nasty divorce if you really want to see some horror.

 
9

'Amityville: The New Generation'

 
 

Unsurprisingly, a movie about hip people from the early '90s being haunted by a mirror (we assume they looked in it and saw their awful hairstyles) wasn't very terrifying, so this movie includes flashbacks cut in of a suburban dad killing his entire family over Thanksgiving. And sadly the scenes set in the past have aged a lot better.

 
10

'Thanxgiving'

 
 

Sadly, this is not a movie about extreme sports heroes fighting zombie turkeys, which the "X" in the title invokes. Instead it's a Blair Witch knockoff where a bunch of people decide to spend Thanksgiving camping. Yeah, that's scary.

 

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