You know what St. Patrick's Day needs more of? If you guessed drunk Irish-Americans barfing on the streets, you're wrong. If you guessed Patrick Stewart, you're right. Here's the legend of St. Patrick as told by photos of Sir Patrick Stewart.

  • St. Patrick was born around 385 AD to wealthy Roman parents in Scotland.

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  • As a teen he was captured by raiders and taken to Ireland as a slave, where he worked as a shepherd.

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  • Six years later, Patrick escaped Ireland by boat (which he was directed to via a dream) and returned to Britain, where he was ordained a priest and later a bishop.

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  • Patrick later felt a call back to Ireland, to teach them of the gospel. He famously used the shamrock to explain the concept of the Holy Trinity.

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  • Of course over the years numerous legends developed about St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland. It’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s myth.

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  • For example, he supposedly drove all the snakes out of Ireland (though it’s likely the island never had any snakes on it to begin with).

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  • Another legend has it that Patrick's walking stick grew into a living tree. He would thrust this stick into the ground wherever he was evangelizing, and in one place the message took so long to sink in that the stick had taken root by the time he was ready to move on.

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  • St. Patrick also reportedly declared that everyone should have a drop of the "hard stuff" on his feast day after teaching a lesson to an innkeeper who was stingy with his servings of whiskey.

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  • Of course, nowadays most people have more than a “drop” – more like a gallon – as the holiday has come to stand for a day of global debauchery in St. Patrick’s name.

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  • Basically, St. Patrick (like Patrick Stewart) is kind of a big deal. And the Irish chicks (like Cmdr. Beverly Crusher) love him!

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