Dan Seitz
Professional writer for Uproxx.com, GammaSquad.com, Guyspeak.com, Guyism.com, Zug.com, and innumerable other sites. He writes the Internet, basically.
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Adults Take On YOLO
Generally, if you hear someone yell YOLO, something incredibly stupid is about to happen. Possibly funny, but also stupid. So YouTube user Satire decided to put together a brief video detailing the very different way grown-ups approach the idea of "You Only Live Once."
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Number One Junior Tennis Player Told To Lose Weight
This is Taylor Townsend. She's won the Junior Australian Open in both junior women's singles and doubles. She took Wimbledon in doubles. She is the top seed in her class in the US Open. In short, she is better at tennis than most of humanity will ever be.
And the United States Tennis Association has told her she's too fat to compete.
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14-Year-Old Takes Quarter Mile Ride Through Ohio Sewer
Sewers are not, as a rule, entertaining amusement park rides. Usually they're extremely dangerous. Jeffrey LaPorta of Parma, OH, however, lucked out and just got the ride of his life.
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Drug Dealer Accidentally Texts Narcotics Detective About Buying Drugs
Aaron Templeton is perhaps not the brightest light in the industry of extralegal pharmaceutical distribution. But he's at least learned a valuable lesson: If you must text people, from your phone, about buying drugs, check to make sure you have the correct phone number.
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13-Year-Old Steals Brother’s Car, Drives 800 Miles To Meet Internet Boyfriend
Elizabeth Annette Robinson seems like a nice girl. She's thirteen, and we all remember what it's like to be in middle school. So when she met somebody over Xbox Live, it was love at first game.
Then Elizabeth decided to play Grant Theft Auto for real, stealing her brother's car to meet her boyfriend.
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Little Face Mitt Now Getting The Video Treatment
We've shown you Little Face Mitt before. But we haven't seen it in motion.
The weird thing is that it actually works.
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NFL Player Chris Kluwe Punts Politician In Hilarious NSFW Rant
Vikings punter Chris Kluwe is famous, some would say notorious, for not being shy about speaking his mind. For example, when a few NFL players held up the entire league in union negotiations during last year's lockout, he called them out for it.
And when a Maryland legislator essentially told a Baltimore Raven to shut up about gay marriage, he learned Kluwe's foot has nothing on his mouth.
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Dude Perfectly Lands Some Ridiculous Football Trick Shots
What happens when you get a bunch of bros good at football and give them a bunch of SUVs to make a viral video with? You get this video from Dude Perfect.
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Charles Barkley Butchers Boyz II Men In Karaoke, Saved By Actual Boyz II Men
Charles Barkley is famed for his skills on the court. 23,757 career points, 12,546 rebounds, and 4,215 assists make for a truly great career. But even Sir Charles occasionally needs an assist himself, and he got a great one recently.
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Disgruntled Employee Destroys Boss’ Office With Bulldozer
We get it. There are many times where we've wanted to trash the boss' office. But that's not a good idea for your continued employment or for workplace relations. And if you use a bulldozer to do it, your arrest record.