Break out the nacho dip and Swedish meatballs! Super Bowl XLVI kicks off at Indianapolis’s Lucas Oil Stadium on Sunday, Feb 5th.

While rabid football fans across the country will gather to watch this year’s gridiron title bout at 6:30pm Eastern on NBC, a certain segment of viewers will secretly be more interested in hearing Kelly Clarkson sing the National Anthem, catching hi-larious first-run commercials or seeing what Madonna has up her (uh… biceps) for the Halftime Show. And then there are those non-Sporty Spices among us who feel just as keen to skip the scrimmage all together. For those who cry foul at the clashing of uniformed titans, endless TV timeouts and bare-chests-as-billboards, let us suggest these Super Bowl alternatives.

  • 1

    Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl

    3pm Eastern/Pacific

    What’s cuter than grown men chasing a ball and growling at each other? Well… a great many things, actually… but definitely puppies! This year marks the eighth consecutive season for Animal Planet’s adorable Fido face-off, The Puppy Bowl. The tail-wagging event airs at 3pm E/P and promises a dog’s-eye-view via a Puppy Cam, real sideline “chicks” henpecking over controversial plays and the return of the Bissel Kitten Halftime Show. Also, for the first time ever, you can catch all of the cuteness as the Cable Gods intended—in 3-D. Puppy Power!

  • 2

    Hit the Runway

    Too fabulous for first downs? You’re in fashionable company. Why not hop a flight to Dubai to take in the regal runway looks strutting down the catwalk during Emirates Fashion Week 2012? Like a couture mirage, the Dubai World Trade Center will draw some of the fashion world’s power players and trendsetters to its glittering halls February 4th - 12th. Tres sheik!

  • 3

    File Your Taxes

    Slighty depressing? Maybe. Secretly genius? You know it! We’re all aware that the tax man cometh on April 17th and he ain’t leavingeth without your 2011 tax returns. Why not grab a plate of spicy wings and mozzarella sticks and get a jumpstart on the tedium? Last year alone, more than 30 million people filed their taxes in the final week of the filing period, according to IRS statistics. Make efficient use of your Super Sunday and come spring, you’ll be free to kick back and relax on that (tax deductable) “work-related” trip with your besties.

    Digital Images/Getty Images
    Digital Images/Getty Images
  • 4

    Host a 'Downton Abbey' party

    What’s that my good fellow?! You say you’ve gotten a few episodes behind on the exquisitely addictive PBS costume drama? Dearest me! Well lace up your corset, command your ladies’ maid to set out your best pearls and have the butler ring up the social elite (or your friends who always bring the best wine.) Assign roles--footman, valet, dead Turkish diplomat—uncork the spirits and watch the (class) action unfold.

  • 5

    Get Oscar-Ready

    Can’t tell your 'Descendents' from your 'Artist''s? Haven’t had a chance to check out Michelle Williams’ Marilyn Monroe or Meryl Streep’s Margaret Thatcher? The 84th Academy Awards air Sunday, Feb 26th on ABC. Why not screen a few of this year’s cinematic contenders and have your personal favs all picked out in time for Billy Crystal’s opening act? Now THAT’S entertainment!

    Eric Rapttosh/Getty Images
    Eric Rapttosh/Getty Images
  • 6

    The Lingerie Bowl

    MTV2 4pm Eastern

    NFL beefcakes bending and squatting in tight pants not your thing? Then allow the self-confident, athletic ladies of the Lingerie Football League to introduce you to football’s hot twin sister. MTV2 will air the 9th annual Lingerie Bowl in New Orleans at 4pm Eastern. Don’t be fooled by the fuschia boy shorts and ruffled garters-- these scantily-clad members of the fairer sex hit just as hard and score just as often as their male counterparts. Though we’re guessing LFL fans wish just a little bit harder for wardrobe malfunctions…

  • 7

    The Other Football

    FOX 4pm Eastern

    Fans of the Pele/Beckham brand of “football” can tune in to watch a storied match-up akin to Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. English Premier League footie (soccer) clubs Chelsea and Manchester United will face off at Stamford Bridge stadium in London at 16:00 (That’s 4pm Eastern to us Yanks) on FOX. With arguably the most passionate fans EVER, popping into the neighborhood pub for a wee bit of football and a pint might be just the ticket to… scoring a hot European BF. (Also, it’s really fun to yell “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAALL!”)

  • 8

    Play Cupid

    Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, so instead of the usual tactics (denial, candy heart overdose, witness protection program) why not celebrate the lovely holiday the way you did in elementary school? While your living room erupts with hail Mary-hoorays, tuck yourself into a cozy corner someplace away from the din and craft some handmade Valentine’s cards for your dear ones. Easier still, grab a box of pre-made cards from the supermarket or pharmacy and let Scooby or The Disney Princesses impart your heartfelt wishes. Simply address, stamp and SWAK! (Seal With A Kiss.)

    Alexander Nicholson/Getty Images
    Alexander Nicholson/Getty Images
  • 9

    Join Pinterest

    The hipster love child of Facebook and Twitter, Pinterest is an invitation-only website created to function as a virtual pinboard of sorts. Users create and share photo collections of things they’re interested in and “follow” collections created by others, thus inspiring creativity and yet another platform for cyber stalking. (But mostly, the creativity thing.) Voted one of the five best social media sites on 2011, Pinterest might be the next Angry Birds, so put out some feelers to your trendy friends, get invited to join and start pinning!

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