It's everyone's favorite time of year. If everyone in the world is a smug jerk in a happy relationship with somebody who actually cares about them, that is. Valentine's Day. The day single people love to hate. The day people in relationships are afraid to talk about it lest their single friends get mad at them.
If you're having a crummy Valentine's Day this year, check out these depressingly sad romance comic covers, from an era when comic writers wanted to move beyond the superhero and prove that comics could be highbrow. This is what they wound up with instead.
A Woman Scorned
At least if you're miserable you can put sweatpants on. So, you've got one up on her. Feel better yet?
Do Not Ask Yourself This. Ever.
Also, note the Scumbag Steve hat top left. They knew what they were doing.
Remember That Pat Benetar Video?
It's basically this comic. Only this comic will also use astrology to tell you how to be beautiful. Basically this is the worst thing ever.
Dumped by a Guy in an Ascot
At least you didn't get dumped today. If you did get dumped today, at least you didn't clutch madly at the guy and cry on a park bench. If you did that, at least you weren't wearing that outfit. If you were wearing that outfit, you probably had it coming.
Doormat for Love
Are you a doormat for love? Step one: stop crying behind bushes.
Ugliest Girl in the World
Later she tries to bleach her face. At least that's not your day (do not try to bleach your face today).
That Kind of Girl
Unless the "kind of girl" is the kind who sits at home in sweatpants and eats sour cream straight out of the tub, you're wrong dude. Also, compared to those plans, doesn't your evening seem not so bad?
Sincerely, unless you actually had this conversation today, you've got at least one thing to be grateful for.
Veil of Love
That's the problem with men -- they're always going after all the nuns, when there are plenty of women who have not taken vows right in front of them!
Worst. Dad. Ever.
Hey, at least you weren't dating this guy. (If you were, see above note re: sour cream.)
Three Minutes. Then, Emptiness
Little did she know he's actually leaving her because she's so incredibly dramatic.
Stop Staring Out the Window
And start staring at your TV -- those episodes of 'Bones' aren't going to watch themselves. Think of how lonely *they* feel, just sitting there on Netflix, with nobody to watch them.
Just Be Stone Cold
This lady had no qualms with shutting a dude down. She knows that somewhere out there is a man in a top hat who is just waiting to either marry her or at least put on a pretty decent magic show.