April Fool’s Day Canceled By Federal Government Five Years Ago
We know you thought that today was going to be a day of pranks and fun, but you're wrong. It's not. And you can thank the government for taking the fun out of the day.
A recently discovered obscure passage in the Richard Tuck Memorial Act, added by an unnamed Congressman, requires all companies to:
Make no statements of false products or services on the first day of April. Any company that does so will be required under this law to actually provide those products or services.
The passage was supposed to derail the act, which applied a .025% tax on advertising on "videos involving juvenile felines and canines engaged in activity that would be construed as 'humorous' or otherwise adorable."
The law is expected to essentially end Google as a functioning corporation, as it will be expected to enact all of its pranks.
Similarly, the tax, which has never been collected, is already shutting down video websites: YouTube has already been shuttered, and it is expected Buzzfeed and ViralViralVideos will be insolvent by the end of the week.
All we can say about this law, which puts a serious tax burden on us as well, is this:
April Fools!