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The Best South Park Quotes

south park quotes
Comedy Central

Since it debuted in 1997, ‘South Park’ has stirred up trouble. In addition to people putting pineapples in places they really shouldn’t, the show delivers very funny dialogue. Certainly it’s impossible to choose the ten best lines from a show that has had 16 very funny season, but we’ve tried. Here is just a smattering of the show’s Emmy and Peabody award-winning dialogue. Enjoy!


“You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.”

Mr. Garrison





“I’m not fat, I’m festively plump.”






“All animals kill, and the animals that don’t kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.”






“Anyway, children, as I was saying, the Hare Krishna’s are totally gay.”

Mr. Garrison





“Naw dude, independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They’re always about gay cowboys eating pudding.”






“Don’t lie, Stan. Lying makes you sterile.”

Mr. Garrison





“Oh, Kyle, you just made a huge withdrawal at the First Bank of Lies.”






“If irony was made of strawberries, we’d all be drinking a lot of smoothies right now.”

Newscaster Ned





“I don’t want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.”






“The rest of you go get the goods on Stan. His mom grounded him once for setting something on fire. Let’s find out what that something was and then lie and say it was a puppy.”





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