Humor

We're sure you're familiar with 'Actual Advice Mallard,' the meme that toes the line between funny and just really useful. Well, here's his cousin, 'Anabolic Advice Mallard!' Don't worry, his advice is still very "actual." In fact, for fitness gurus, this meme may be even more relevant...

As we're sure you know, the weekend is coming up. For some, that means getting some much needed rest, while others are already planning their social schedule. Here are some Do's and Don'ts to take advantage of what looks to be a lovely spring weekend!

What's the best part of the Kentucky Derby? The hats? The horse racing? The glasses filled with cold, cold whiskey? We couldn't decide, so we put some hats on some horses to help us figure it out. It didn't help. We'll make up our mind tomorrow when the race is over.

We wish somebody would follow us around and animate our drunken brilliance. Although, to be fair, arguing over the lyrics to a Go-Go's song is not nearly as entertaining as this joke, told by Adam Patch's wife after she drank an entire bottle of wine.

Seriously, what did this guy think was going to happen when he had a truck drag him by the feet down a Slip 'N Slide peppered with flaming obstacles? Because this is pretty much what we expected would happen. It's like his parents never instilled a paralyzing fear of Slip 'N Slides in him -- doesn't he know this is how collarbones get broken...

Local commercials don’t get much worse than this.

To be honest, we haven't watched 'The Matrix' in probably 13 years, so we'd just like to thank this guy's mom for the refresher! Although we're pretty sure the dude's name is Morpheus, not Moshimo. Regardless, we're pretty sure this is a fairly accurate plot synopsis, and the accompanying animation keeps us from nodding off like we usually do when somebody tells us what a movie is about.

Thank you, Reddit. For all the creepy creepster stuff you do, you sometimes come up with something like this and make us laugh and laugh. The Confession Kid meme is a much more charming cousin of the now-classic Confession Bear. We think he's about a million times better though.

We figured athletes were good with the ladies but apparently this reporter knows more than we do.

You know what they say -- when in Rome, do as the Romans do; when in Hong Kong, get called "Vagina" at a Starbucks.* That must be how that saying goes, because that's exactly what happened to a woman named Virginia who was visiting Hong Kong recently, and she wasn't too happy about it.

Apparently sometimes when you're visiting Boston, Kevin Spacey will jog up behind you, scream "photobomb," ruin your picture and jog away cackling. Sometimes. Other times you might just get lost in a parking garage and eat not very good Caribbean food...

Surely you've seen this ad from Dove, in which a forensic sketch artist draws women as they describe themselves, then as other women describe them, then everybody starts crying? If not, it's here for the watching, just to give you some context before we settle in to what this is really all about -- making fun of that ad.

Since the members of Iron Maiden are all well into their 50s it shouldn't be a big surprise that some fans of the seminal heavy metal band are now old enough to collect retirement benefits. Instead it's what a 71-year-old woman from Stockholm, Sweden and her 81-year-old husband did with their Iron Maiden record collection that's noteworthy.

We feel kind of bad that Henry Gribbohm lost his life savings, totaling $2,600, on a carnival game, but at the same time...COME ON, DUDE!

Step aside, Sir Ian McKellen. Your role as Gandalf is about to be taken by an unexpected enemy...famed country singer/songwriter, Willie Nelson!