Babies

Wow, congrats on getting pregnant, friend. Can you just spare us and let us mail you some diapers direct from Amazon? Because NOBODY wants to go to your stupid baby shower.

This is it. This is what the internet has been moving towards ever since it was created. It's a person being pooped on ... by a baby.

It's time for everyone's favorite grown man acting like a toddler -- 'Convos With My 2 Year Old' is back with a new episode. This one is about a cookie.

We wish we could remember how amazing it felt to learn something as simple as what a shadow is. Instead we're stuck barely being able to remember all of our passwords for internet logins.

There's a reason dogs are called man's best friend.

We've said it before, and we'll say it again -- if you're going to subject yourself to the stress of parenthood, you may as well use your kids for party tricks. This dad has taught his almost two-year-old son to sing and strum along with him to 'Don't Let Me Down' by the Beatles...

Hopefully you saw the inaugural episode of 'Convos With My 2 Year Old.' ( If not, here it is.) We thought it was pretty hilarious, and it went a long way towards proving our theory that toddlers are essentially sociopaths.

If you're not taking advantage of your baby's pliability and lack of motor control skills to pose them for silly photographs, frankly we don't understand why you even had kids. If for no other reason than to post a picture of your kid to Facebook every once in a while that is actually entertaining, instead of just sharing "the magic" of a 10-month-old eating pie. Of course they like it -

Kids, they say the darndest things, amirite?? One couple decided to harness the precocity of toddlers to announce to their friends and family that they're having a baby. When they asked their daughter Adela, to tell the camera what's happening in a few months, boy, oh boy, did she ever tell the world...

Oh, sure it sounds cute when a two-year-old says awful things, but let's be real -- basically anything a two-year-old says is going to be at least a little adorable. Take away the facade of a smiling baby face, though, and the truth comes out -- that little kids are essentially sociopaths with no regard for the feelings of others.

It seems ABC has got some major competition on their hands with the launch of 'The Baby Bachelor.'

A 14-month-old girl in Philadelphia went on one wild ride before she ever had a chance to get on the train.

To change or not to change. That is the question.

When it comes to this whole life thing, kids pretty much reign supreme. OK, so they're not really good at being flower girls or staying awake while eating, but who cares! Kiddos know how to be awesome, and we're here to prove that point even further.

It's pretty much impossible to understand what a baby is actually saying, unless of course you're also a baby.