Ah, Playmobil. Basically Lego's weird cousin, Playmobil offers all of the imaginative environments and changeable figures of Lego without having to actually build anything.

Created by German inventor Hans Beck in 1929, the basic Playmobil sets and figures have remained virtually unchanged for decades. It's this quaintness, and a commitment to recreating real world locales like fire stations and hospitals, that has made Playmobil a huge part of early childhood playtime. That said, they are pretty freaking weird.

First off, there's the fact that each figure has the same face that never changes. Whether it's a cop or one of King Arthur's knights, each Playmobil figure has the same dot eyes, tiny half-circle mouth and plastic mop-top of hair. Basically, they all look like creepy children. Which is all well and good if you're, say, playing schoolhouse. But when the Playmobil figures get into the real world and start catching bank robbers and checking airline passengers to make sure they don't have a bomb strapped to their plastic bodies, that's when things get weird. Take a look at some bizarre Playmobil sets we discovered on the Web.

Security Checkpoint


It's all the fun of airline travel without the uncomfortable pat-downs. But does it include a tiny room where they make you sweat it out while they check your laptop for explosives?

Bank Robbery

Playmobil Bank Robbery

Includes miniature panic room and sawed-off shotgun for any Playmobil bank employees who want to play hero.

Creepy Pizza Guy

Pizza Guy PlayMobil

There's nothing wrong with a pizza parlor set. It's just unfortunate that the beach setting and the pizza guy's red shirt makes it seem like he's been shirtless out in the sun a bit too long.

Children's Hospital

Children's Hospital PlayMobil
PlayMobil USA

In case the tiny wheelchair wasn't depressing enough, there's an incubator for PlayMobil Preemies (thankfully not an actual toyline).

Children's Disco

PlayMobil USA

What, no miniature Steve Rubell for this hallucinatory recreation of Studio 54? We also hope those dancers don't have tails. PlayMobil is disturbing enough without getting into furry territory.

Woodshop Class

Woodshop Class Playmobil
PlayMobil USA

Good thing there's a first aid kit handy, because those are clearly pre-schoolers handling the power drill and hacksaw.

School Band

Playmobil USA

We're not exactly sure what sort of school band involves bongos and a xylophone. This looks more like the back-up band for Wavy Gravy at Bonnaroo.

Maid Service

Maid Service Playmobil
Playmobil USA

Nothing says summer fun like plunging toilets.

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