Philly Mom Trying to Hire Secret Prostitute for Virgin Son

Some moms go above and beyond the call of duty. Other moms try to get 19-year-old girls to prostitute themselves so that their socially awkward son won't be a virgin when he goes to Harvard in the fall. If you want to believe an ad on Craigslist, that is.

The mystery mom in question is looking for a cute girl to date her son and "turn him from high school nerd to cool college kid" by "showing him different sex positions." MOOOOooom, you're embarrassing me!

In return, the mom offers to make the girl's "financial issues disappear." Assuming there really is a mom and a virgin son, and not just a sweaty internet neckbeard, this ad is très creepy. Here's the whole thing, if you feel like shaking your head and wondering what's wrong with the world today. Read it now, before it becomes a terrible romantic comedy with Jay Baruchel, Mila Kunis and Susan Sarandon as the mom