Etsy, in case you don't know, is basically the craft fair/flea market of the internet. Millions of people come together to sell the unique things they've handcrafted to those wishing to have something unique in their lives. And like most craft fair/flea markets, it's got a lot of cool stuff. Also, a lot of weird items. (And a ton of tutus, for some reason.)

So we went looking through Etsy for the best of the worst in Halloween costumes, since it's that time of the year. And before you ask, yes, every single thing you're about to see is up for sale. You can actually buy these costumes! Why you'd want to, though, is another topic entirely.

  • 1


    Seller: Vanessa Henerty

    Classy! Don't let PETA see this one.

  • 2

    Excrement (With Flies)

    Seller: My Cat Has Cancer

    The costume of choice for when you've completely given up on the whole dignity thing.

  • 3

    'Queen O' Da Sea' Costume

    Seller: Avante Garb

    We're not sure what is going on in this one. (Though we do appreciate the pun.) Is it supposed to be a comment on how our oceans are polluted? It's definitely polluting our eyes.

  • 4

    'Drag' Costume

    Seller: Great Deals For You

    Since when is the outfit that Flo, the "Kiss my grits!" waitress from 'Alice' wore considered drag? You want $50 for this? It doesn't even come with enormous fake boobs!

  • 5

    'Hippie' Costume

    Seller: Sew Good Crafts

    It's a little known fact that hippies wore sensible pantsuits in bright colors.

  • 6

    'Hello Kitty' Pirate Costume

    Seller: Countess Lenore

    We'll give this seller this: they definitely put in the effort, unlike some of the slackers on here. And, if you're worried about being seen at night, well, that's not going to be much of a problem with this eyesore.

  • 7

    'Seuss-Inspired' Prosthetic Nose

    Seller: Kendra Johnson

    We would not wear it on our face, not even if you hit us with a mace.

  • 8

    'Pink Floyd -- The Wall' Child Costume

    Seller: Daehkcuf

  • 9

    Male 'Grasshopper' Costume

    Seller: Two Moms LTD

    Since when do grasshoppers have fairy wings?

  • 10

    Frida Kahlo Costume

    Seller: PrettyThings55

    This'll be great for the gallery opening she's attending later. Oh, wait, no it won't. Cause she's a child.

  • 11

    Jack Sparrow Apron

    Seller: Jordan Ellis

    For when you're baking spiced rum cake. You'll have to supply your own dreadlocks. Also, every other costume piece.

  • 12

    Checkered Cab Dress

    Seller: Avante Garb

    Taxi! Taxi! Oh, sorry. You're a lady. Awkward.

  • 13

    Crocheted Batman Mask

    Seller: Projects By Carm

    OK, this is kind of adorable. But we also wonder how The Dark Knight would be taken seriously while wearing this.

  • 14

    'Little Mermaid' Ballroom Gown

    Seller: Never Bug Creations

    If you're an adult and looking for ball gowns pulled directly from Disney characters, it may be time to review your priorities.

  • 15

    Loch Ness Monster Costume

    Seller: MissNessAMonster

    Nessie has been found! And she...kinda looks like Barney?

  • 16

    Penguin Family Costume

    Seller: BabyBayrs

    Is it us, or do these so-called penguin costumes kind of look like giant Snuggies?

  • 17

    Reindeer Fish

    Seller: Laurie's Gift

    To be fair, we're not exactly sure what a good reindeer fish costume would look like either.

  • 18

    'Alien Woman' Costume

    Seller: Avante Garb

    We guess she's supposed to be some kind of space cowboy. Or possibly a gangster of love? Definitely not Maurice. Honestly, we give up.


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