Note: Some NSFW audio.

While it may sound like an old wives' tale, there are, in fact, gigantic underwater beasts that are bigger than a bus and could smush you into jelly with a mere flick of their kitchen-table-sized tails. They are called whales, and once in a while, one will show up next to your kayak and come within centimeters of utterly obliterating your meager vessel.

Cimeron Morrissey, the woman filming the above video, describes the event on her YouTube page. She and some friends were kayaking just off Monterey Bay (a bit south of San Francisco) and came upon a group of sea lions. Then, up from the depths of the sea, arose a massive, multi-ton humpback whale that just wanted a breath of fresh air.

"His enormous, barnacle-encrusted tail came out of the water and was about 12 inches from my face," Morrissey writes. And indeed, that whale's tail did come awfully close to our very-nearly-dead videographer. "I wasn't scared," she adds.

Yeah. Right.