'If I Ever Kiss It... He Can Kiss It Goodbye'

Jerry Williams, Jr. took on the moniker 'Swamp Dogg' in 1970, which is the earliest iteration of 'Dogg' we know of. Thus, that makes him the original doggfather.

There are a ton of ways you could interpret the title, but we have to believe that he's referring to performing oral sex on a dude. That's the one out when you're forced to fellate, but that's more of a personal diary locked in a box buried under six feet of dirt confession.

We appreciate how Swamp showed restraint by only including mouths. We'll see Dogg later on.