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20 Forgotten Toys From the ’90s – Part Two

And surely you remember these ’90s toys…






Just think, 14 years ago technology couldn’t even hold an entire song on a disc. Today, a guy watched pornography on a phone in his hand from his seat next to us on the train this morning!

Still, you have to love the hip pitch-lady in this ad. What is “a slick micro-audio system” supposed to mean? Kids, want to listen to 10 seconds of your favorite song over and over again?? Want more than that? Sorry, you’ll have to wait several years.


Dream Phone




Forget Girl Talk and Mall Madness — this was *the* game to make us have a panic attack at a sleepover party we’re pretty sure we were only invited to because Stasia’s parents said she had to.

Also, check out the disclaimer — “Dream phone is not a real phone and cannot be used with any phone network.” Do you think we’re dumb, Dream Phone? Real cell phones were much larger back then.






Speaking of panic attacks, have you ever played Perfection!? It’s a surefire way to bring any high-strung six-year-old to tears! Also, how horrifying is the fake game show host in this ad? He’s like the demonic love child of Chuck Woolery and Jim Carrey as The Mask. That chin could probably cut diamonds.


Bucky O’Hare




Pretty sure there were like seven Toad Air Marshals at our daycare. But no Bucky O’Hares.


Glitter Wand



Glitter Wand

Is it far-fetched to attribute the longevity of rave culture to how much fun people had waving sticks full of glitter around as children?


James Bond, Jr.




Considering the fact that the TV show only lasted one season, we were surprised to learn that James Bond, Jr. toys were also sold in Greece.


Skip It




Skipping and screaming is right — when you and your little sister get into a fight over whose turn it is.


Stretch Armstrong




CONSPIRACY THEORY: Stretch Armstrong was reissued in 1993 after the success of Faith No More’s ‘Midlife Crisis’ one year earlier. Think about it…


Socker Boppers




“Hey kids, punch your sister! What could go wrong?” Everything. Everything could go wrong.


Crocodile Dentist




Now that we’re older, we finally understand why Dad would always adopt a super-weird voice and ask “Is it safe?” right before he tried to rip out a crocodile tooth.

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