If only it actually went down this way.

With his new-found free time, cycling legend/disgrace Lance Armstrong recently took to the OWN network with Oprah Winfrey to discuss his doping, his loss of advertisers and apparently his immense jerkiness. And while Armstrong was candid in his "no holds barred" interview with the big O, the folks at CONAN saw a perfect opportunity to spread some humor.

Kudos to the editors, but with one view it's obvious the video is for comedic purposes. Had Armstrong actually spoken to O like that he'd most likely be in a ditch right now. Everyone knows you don't sass Oprah!