Dumb Criminals

Left on her own without legal representation, this girl (who was awaiting arraignment for a first arrest) was in over her head. It probably also didn't help that she didn't get the sobering reality of being physically present in court to knock some sense into her, since this is a video arraignment taking place from jail, where she is nervous and surrounded by other inmates. Oh, and it doesn't help

Three thieves wanted to knock over a small shop in the Columbian village of Juan de Acosta. For their getaway, they enlisted the services of a donkey.

Like so many of us have done, Ryan Hopkins made a bad decision while drunk. Unlike the rest of us, he decided to rob a Little Caesars. But the stick-up didn't go quite the way he had (probably not) planned.

Charles Ross has been caught with his pants down because his victims were caught with their pants up. Way up.

As any thief worth his salt knows, a clean getaway is absolutely essential. Well, a South Carolina teen recently botched a robbery in a big way after police followed a trail of Cheetos right to his front door. (While that's not the thief pictured above, authorities should still be on the lookout for a hungry cheetah in human clothing.)

Maybe Subway is stepping up their game a tad. They've made it abundantly clear that they now have avocados and sriracha sauce, and they will NOT be putting ketchup on anybody's sandwich. At all. They don't even have ketchup, and one employee was willing to fight to prove it. They don't call them sandwich artists for nothing.

While most of us rang in the new year with a noisemaker and a drink or two, 29-year-old Coco Bennett celebrated by brandishing a samurai sword in front of police. Oh, and he was stark naked too, of course.

The clerk at the Sheridan Mini Mart in East Bremerton, Washington probably isn't the world's greatest employee. In fact, when a woman came into the store at 10 PM Thursday night the slacker-in-question wouldn't stop talking on his phone as she tried to grab his attention. His conversation was so engrossing that he didn't even care that she had a gun.

It turns out to make it onto a list of the dumbest criminals, you have to actually be pretty dumb. Granted, we can't all be masterminds, but it probably doesn't take much to know you shouldn't make a YouTube video boasting about the bank you just robbed. Or tweet about punching a guy in the face. Nor should you get into a fist fight over a piece of birthday cake.

Al Alverson didn't get the iPad mini that he had ordered through FedEx. However, the blame for the non-delivery rested squarely on UPS.

You've surely heard of highway robbery? It turns out that driveway robbery is also a thing (a very, very literal thing).

After a break-up, people have all sorts of odd ideas about how to deal with their pain. Dennis Homberg of Lykens, PA, apparently decided to get over his break up with... er... glue.

Donald Albritton's marriage was going through a rough patch, so he turned to his ex-girlfriend for help. The catch is Megan White, the 35-year old's former-flame, didn't exactly get a say in the matter...

Granted, losing $20,000 of a drug cartel's money is fairly panic inducing. That said, you do have to wonder what Demarco Alonzo Thomas was thinking when he called the police for a note excusing him from delivering $20,000.

Early Tuesday morning, a 911 operator in Springtown, Texas, got a call from Lindy Gerow, who reported a burglar had just entered into her home. "You better come quick," she said, "or my husband's going to shoot him." It the operator had any doubt about the severity of the situation it was confirmed by a concurrent call. This one from the home invader himself.