Matthew Roulette
Crazy Fat Ethel II – The Worst VHS Covers
There's just so much comedy packed into this one little VHS cover. First off, it seems like Crazy Fat Ethel seems almost lethargic rather than crazy. It's like she doesn't want to stab you, but you are standing right there, so what they hey...
Masterblaster – The Worst VHS Covers
Apparently this movie is about a paintball competition that goes awry when one of the contestants goes all 'Hunger Games' and starts hunting down the others and killing them. It is not, as the cover would suggest, about a hired assassin and his tiny female sidekick/gun...
Werewolf of Washington – The Worst VHS Covers
'Werewolf of Washington' is a horror film from the early 1970s that satirized politics, which at the time, was dominated by the Watergate scandal. While this might be a fun addition to your "political werewolf" movie collection, would you really be impressed by this cover...
Robo Vampire – The Worst VHS Covers
Ah, truly a masterpiece in awfulness. Give yourself a minute to absorb every ridiculous and hilarious part of this VHS cover. We'll wait.
First, let's start with RoboCop. No, he isn't in the film but he sure is on the cover. Apparently the filmmakers didn't even bother putting their own knockoff (the one that's actually in the movie) on the box and went for a more well known cyborg instead...
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Ninja: American Warrior – The Worst VHS Covers
What's a B-movie list without some ninjas? When it comes to bad movie covers, ninjas are in a dead heat with low-budget horror films. But 'Ninja: American Warrior' is enough to turn even the most diehard kung-fu fan away.
Is it because of the crude artwork...
Space Mutiny – The Worst VHS Covers
Science Fiction fans rejoice! Not only is 'Space Mutiny' a terrible movie, it has a terrible box cover to accompany it! Even without seeing the 'Mystery Science Theater 3000' episode it's featured in, you know just by looking at this cover that you're in for a B-movie treat...
Alaska – The Worst VHS Covers
At first glance, this doesn't look too awful, just sort of boring. But really look at it. Go on.
It's as if the kids were supposed to be the only ones on the cover but the polar bear was like, "Nuh-uh, ME TOO!" and shoved himself in there...
The Great Skycopter Rescue – The Worst VHS Covers
Wow. Just wow. What were they thinking? So much of this cover doesn't make a lick of sense.
Who is the girl? Why is she so crudely superimposed on the explosion? Who are these bikers and why are they riding on what looks like sand? What's up with the hot air balloon...
The Devastator – The Worst VHS Covers
Hooray for the 1980s and all the Rambo ripoffs that flowered throughout it! 'The Devastator' is one of those uninspired stories about a crazy Vietnam vet out for revenge. But honestly, the cover just looks boring, even though he's blasting away at what are presumably an army of bad guys...
Magic of the Ninja – The Worst VHS Covers
So is this thing on the cover supposed to be a ninja with the head of a white lion or just a person wearing a dumb mask? Because the title is 'Magic of the Ninja,' so we're assuming that it has something to do with the supernatural.
This is one time that the VHS cover is probably better looking than the actual product since the actual ninja probably is wearing a rubber lion's mask...
Death Mask of the Ninja – The Worst VHS Covers
Ah, now this is how you make a VHS cover. It's cheesy, but at least it's intriguing. Finally, someone figured out that ninjas should be doing something other than posing. So much is going on here, we need to analyze.
First off, our ninja is so cool he bats away shirtless guy with his left hand, which we're assuming isn't even his dominant one...
The Manipulator – The Worst VHS Covers
Gah! Mickey Rooney's face here is enough to make this list alone. Seriously, do we even need to elaborate? Added to this, we assume he's playing some serial killer or creeper, so that heightens the awfulness of the cover. It's hard not to envy the girl here...
Liked ‘The Artist’? Check Out These Silent Movie Classics
'The Artist' cleaned house at the 2012 Oscars, proving that even in the 21st century, silent movies aren't just for film snobs. While there are famous films that have endured ('Metropolis,' 'Nosferatu') the general public might need a reintroduction to some interesting silent movies since it's been some 70 years since their debut. Here are five films that are great com...
‘Humiliate the Boy,’ ‘Aladdin’ — Disney Songs You’ve Never Heard
Rounding out our list is another Jafar song, obviously from a much earlier draft of the script. In it, Jafar has taken possession of the magic lamp and sadistically humiliates Aladdin in front of Jasmine, the Sultan, and even his mother! This guy is just evil...
‘Dancing to the Wedding Drum,’ ‘Pocahontas’ –Disney Songs You’ve Never Heard
A nice and catchy tune that illustrates Pocahontas' reluctance to getting married and her tension with her fiancé, Kocoum. While catchy, the song doesn't really serve the story well, which explains why it was cut. Plus, compare the singing Kocoum to the steely-eyed statue-like warrior in the finished film...