The Midnight Writer

The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.

What Happens When ‘Full House’ Meets Mortal Kombat [VIDEO]

Take the greatest fighting video game of the '90s and combine it with the greatest family sitcom of the '90s and you've got 'Full House Mortal Kombat.'

Man Miraculously Walks Away After Horrific Motorcycle Crash [VIDEO]

Let this video of a motorcyclist crashing at top speed into a passing truck be a lesson to all drivers: Motorcycles are dangerous, riders should always wear a helmet and Ryan Gosling probably won't be around to smooth things over when the two drivers meet. Despite the severity of the crash (which shatters the motorcycle in question), its rider miraculously gets up and walks it off.

Man in Gumby Suit Tries to Rob 7-11 (But Doesn’t End Up in the Pokey) [VIDEO]

A man dressed as Gumby made such a horrible attempt at robbing a 7-11 store that the clerk thought it was all a joke. The assailant told the clerk he was being robbed then fumbled inside his costume as if he was going to pull out a gun. He ended up dropping 27 cents on the floor and being told by the man behind the counter "not to waste his time."

Chuck Norris Punch Is the GIF That Keeps on Giving

If animated GIFs are the cherry on top of our daily internet sundae, Chuck Norris is the fudge. These cherries and fudge are unrelated to the actual cherries and fudge that top our real daily sundaes which we like to enjoy in our large conference room covered ceiling to floor in plastic tarps. Caramel can get messy! Back to animated GIFs, they often say the things people just can't like: "obe

Finally! ‘Twilight’ Movie Explained in 4 Seconds [VIDEO]

'Twilight' is loved by millions, but the rest of the world is kind of clueless about what makes it so darn appealing to the masses. Maybe some people just need a quick explanation. If only the entire movie, heck, the entire franchise could be summed up in one short video.

Justin Bieber Embarrasses NBA Star Steve Nash [VIDEO]

Justin Bieber is apparently good at basketball. So good, he not only has a killer crossover, but can get future NBA Hall of Famer Steve Nash to fall for it. But who would ever belieb ... sorry ... believe that kind of story?

A Shaved Alpaca Licking a Kitten Defines Adorable [VIDEO]

It's impossible to not find kittens super adorable. Even alpacas are impervious to their cuteness. This alpaca wants to show its affection for this little bundle of fur by nudging it around with its nose and possibly asking it out on a date.

Local Weatherman Freaks Out Over Spider [VIDEO]

When a local news team invited a tarantula to their studio for a segment, they didn't consider the severe arachnophobia of their skittish weatherman, who interrupted his own camera time to get away from the eight-legged creature.

Pot Luck! Bystanders Grab Weed Dropped By Crashed Truck

Do you know the way to San Jose? No seriously, do you, because there is free weed on the street but it's not going to last very long. The Mercury News explains that a truck, illegally carrying marijuana, crashed and ended up on its side sending large bags of pot throughout the intersection. The driver hightailed it out of sight and that's when the real fun started.

‘American Reunion’ Teaser Trailer – ‘American Pie’ Gang Is Older, But No Wiser, in New Sequel [VIDEO]

Who says you can't go home? Not Stifler, his mom, Jim, Finch, Oz, Jim's dad and the rest of the 'American Pie' crew, who are back for 'American Reunion,' supposedly the final film in the 'Pie' franchise after three theatrical releases and four direct-to-DVD spinoffs. The film's first teaser trailer dropped today and it doesn't reveal much -- just a collection of photobooth shots of the gang reuni

Dad Peddled Drugs, Guns Out of Baby Stroller

Maybe quality time with the kids isn't always a positive thing: AM NY reports that one father that not only made his infant daughter an accomplice to a drug deal but used her stroller to transport heroin and firearms.

Unemployed Man Finds $150K in Vegetable Garden

Here is how the cheesy late-90's stand-up comic buried deep in our subconscious would report this story: "Hey folks! Did you read the story in the Northwest Herald today about a guy in Illinois that found $150K in his backyard garden? Talk about growing some cabbage! Am I right folks? Those are a different kind of greens my friends! You hear what I'm saying everyone?!?"

Spider-Man Endures Hurricane Irene [VIDEO]

Despite the country's diligent precautions, Hurricane Irene left a path of destruction in her wake. It was enough to even scare Spider-Man, who sounded a little intimidated by Irene during this interview with a local ABC reporter. Even superheroes need to evacuate sometimes.

Squirrel Rushes the Field at Women’s Soccer Game [VIDEO]

A squirrel ran onto the field at a women's soccer match this weekend in what was either an attempt to either make the team or ask one of the women out on a date. If it's the former, he didn't help his cause by running around in circles and then laying down. If it was the latter, well he was darn adorable, so one of the ladies might say yes.

8 Batman Comic Book Covers That Prove Robin Is an Idiot

Is it just us or is Robin, Batman's faithful sidekick, more of a damsel in distress than an actual crime fighter? There's no way a true superhero could find himself in so many bonehead situations, from writing a tell-all about his dual identities to bumbling up a simple Christmas tree decoration. Sure, the Boy Wonder is only in his teens, but that's no excuse for such a lousy sidekick hire.

Here are eight Batman comic book covers that prove Robin is an idiot: