Say what you will about the political competency of Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum or even Michelle Bachmann, but none of those candidates promised the entire nation a free pony while wearing half of a hip wader on their heads. And that's why Vermin Supreme, the self-proclaimed "friendly fascist" who looks like Gandalf from 'Lord of the Rings' after a bender, has our vote in the 2012 presidential race.

The New Hampshire Institute of Politics held a roundtable of lesser known Democratic presidential candidates which including "political veteran" Vermin Supreme and his jaunty wizard's cap.

His policies include a mandatory dental hygiene law complete with law enforcement officers who can conduct a warrant-less search to ensure people are brushing and flossing. Also, a free pony for everyone in the country.

According to his website, Vermin also wants to institute a federal program for time travel research (of course he does) and gene splicing to create flying monkeys as a safety assurance initiative. And, yes, the flying monkeys will also monitor the nation's dental hygiene habits.

While we're bewildered by the guy's obsession with our tooth and gum health, he basically had us at "free pony." Watch Vermin's speech below and see if you agree that he's the right candidate for 2012.

[via The Huffington Post]