We're not here to tell you how to run your life. We're mostly just here to provide you with cute pictures of kittens and GIFs you might like. But if we could make a suggestion, don't get your dad any of these things for Father's Day.

Not even as a joke, because what a waste of money. Maybe if you're really mad at him or something, these would make sense. But still, do you really want to spend $20 on a useless piece of garbage to make your dad feel bad when you could use that $20 to make 80 harassing calls from different pay phones? (Don't actually do that.) Here are some things to avoid this Father's Day.

  • 1

    Beer-Scented Soap

    UncommonGoods

    Because you want your dad to smell like beer just in case he gets pulled over by the cops on the way to your house.

  • 2

    Ceramic Boot Full of Cactii

    iDreamOfSucculents, etsy

    Perfect! For no one!

  • 3

    Man Spanx

    Nordstrom

    Happy Father's Day! I got you a girdle because I am horrible!

  • 4

    Tattoupees

    Neatorama

    It's a good thing everyone totally loves to talk about how bald they are, otherwise these would be the worst gift ever!!

  • 5

    World's Greatest Anything

    Amazon

    Why, you're such a great dad that I bought you this mug from the gas station when I realized you wouldn't be understanding at all that I forgot to get you a gift.

  • 6

    Nose Hair Trimmer

    TechTickerBlog

    Not okay.

  • 7

    Painted Rock

    Kaboose

    Congratulations -- there is no way Dad is going to pay for you to go to art school now.

  • 8

    Novelty Tie

    Imgur

    "Awesome! This is perfect for when I go to the NEVER. I WILL NEVER WEAR THIS."

  • 9

    Chainsaw and a Case of Beer

    SpectrumCulture

    Just a horrible combination. Why would you even consider that?

  • 10

    Amanda Bynes-Style Tweet

    Twitter

    In general, try not to do anything Amanda Bynes has done.