Dumb Criminals

One of the things the internet has taught us is that there are a whole lot of dumb criminals out there. Add 21-year-old Benjamin Sickles to the list.

On Saturday, yet another person fell prey to modern convenience when he became hopelessly stuck in a vending machine. But this California teen wasn't an innocent victim like this similarly-trapped two-year-old. Instead, the 17-year-old was trying to steal a soda at the time. That'll teach ya.

When we pack for a getaway, we fill our suitcase with swim trunks and suntan lotion. But 28-year-old Pennsylvania woman Charley Fretz packed a suitcase with herself in an attempt to evade police on Wednesday. Needless to say, her creative method of escape didn't work.

Two teenage girls were charged for stealing $168 from a nine-year-old Girl Scout outside a Winn Dixie supermarket in Lake Worth, FL. And if stealing from a kid wasn't heartless enough, the teens showed no remorse for their actions! Even though this incident happened back in 2008, a raw interview of the culprits has gone viral after being posted on Reddit recently.

A woman who lost her iPhone on a cruise found the suspect because of the photos he was taking with it.

Dallas Naljahih maybe smiling in this Facebook photo of his, but he won't be after news of his alleged burglary escapade does the rounds on the internet. The 18-year-old from Orem, UT, was arrested on suspicion of burglary after police say he left his homework at the crime scene.

Sometimes when you're strapped for cash, you're willing to do the unthinkable. Or you're so hard up that you just plain flat out don't think at all. Such is the case with Keithan Manuel, an 18-year-old in Dallas County who tried to mug a cop IN a police station.

A tipsy pop is in hot water after reportedly allowing his 10-year-old son to act as his designated driver. (Yes, you read that right.) Even worse, we've seen this sort of  thing before.

Any police officer will tell you that dealing with a drunk driver can be extremely strange. After all, drunk people aren't noted for their calm, reasonable reactions to a stressful situation, or their refusal to engage in ridiculous hijinks. Still, one drunk driver might take the cake, considering that he had a monkey for the officers.

The National Archives literally house some of our only links to history's greatest and most significant moments that normally couldn't be found anywhere else except in the lost annals of time. One of them featuring baseball's greatest home run hitter showed up on eBay, the only auction site that, as far as we know, doesn't have a time travel portal.

It's time for a logic word problem. If a robber tried to rob a restaurant without a gun and steal the whole cash register instead of grabbing the cash, how far do you think he would get? The answer is not very far. Logic can be a cruel mistress.

Thanks to Facebook, dumb criminals now have a new way to botch their wrongdoings. Take this 20-year-old man, for example, who was arrested after posting a Facebook photo of himself stealing gas from a cop car. Duh.

The Easter Bunny was busted just before Easter for...well, let's just say he had more than eggs in his basket.

The worst thing you can do when you're staring into the judging beam of a police officer's flashlight is lie to them, whether you did the thing they are accusing you of or not. This is officially worse than that.

While intelligence isn't a prerequisite for a life of crime, it certainly would've helped these ten boneheaded scofflaws. One clumsy bank robber shoots himself in the foot, a thief can't figure out how to operate a door as a means of escape and another gets hopelessly stuck while trying to break into a store. If criminals keep being this dumb, us law-abiding citizens have nothing to worry about. R