TheFW » Dumb Criminals

Father Arrested After Letting 9-Year-Old Daughter Drive Car

Donald Deane — Tue, 21 May 2013 19:45:06 +0000

In our experience, parents generally let their small children drive when they're too drunk to drive themselves. But a father in Ohio was apparently stone cold sober when he let his 9-year-old daughter drive the family car. Can't blame alcohol for this one, dude. That dumb decision was all yours.

Mom Puts Three-Year-Old Son Up for Adoption on Craigslist

Donald Deane — Thu, 16 May 2013 14:53:44 +0000

Craigslist is a great resource for meeting people and buying and selling almost anything. But when it comes to giving away children, there are probably better ways. That didn't stop a Texas woman from offering her three-year-old for adoption on the service, however.

Woman Assaults Boyfriend For Singing 'Thrift Shop' Over and Over

Jeremy Taylor — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 15:40:54 +0000

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis' smash hit 'Thrift Shop' in undoubtedly a very catchy song. But is the ode to finding bargain basement prices a good song?

Therein lays the problem for many folks, including Samanta Malson of Longmont, Colorado who now faces jail because 'Thrift Shop' really got under her skin.

Woman Arrested For April Fool's Day Robbery Prank

Jeremy Taylor — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 19:23:23 +0000

It’s becoming harder and harder to pull a good April Fool’s Day prank. We blame the internet for this, as not long after you log on you are reminded of the tricky nature of April 1 and thus put your guard up. One way to circumvent the new always-in-your-face April Fool’s reality is pull the [...]

The Dumbest Criminals of 2013 (So Far)

TheFW Staff — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 19:00:33 +0000

Nothing makes us feel better on a bad day than reading about somebody really stupid and thinking "hey, at least we're not that guy." Maybe that makes us bad people, we don't know. All we do know is that it's funny when a drunk lady tries to outrun the cops by taking off her pants and hopping into a Power Wheels.

Drunk Woman Takes Off Pants, Flee Cops In Toy Power Wheels Truck

Jeremy Taylor — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 16:25:37 +0000

Jamie Craft of Jonesboro, Arkansas has herself quite a Tuesday.

The 28-year old kicked of her midweek adventure by getting good and drunk and crashing her Trans Am into the side of a mobile home. Mind you this was a proper, adult sized Trans Am, which becomes important later in this tale and also made what she did a pretty serious crime.

Man Calls 911 Nine Times to Request a Cheeseburger

Jeremy Taylor — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 17:29:04 +0000

There is just something about fast food that makes people abuse 911. In the past, folks have been arrested after calling emergency services to report problems with their orders at Burger King, McDonald’s, Subway and Hardee’s. Gregory Jackson Sr. decided to cut out the middleman. Instead of going to his local restaurant chain to be disappointed, [...]

Woman Loses Tooth In Burglar's Hand

Jeremy Taylor — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 21:30:42 +0000

Police in the Cayman Islands are on the look out for a local woman’s tooth. They may well find it still stuck in the hand of the man who “stole” it from her. What had happened is the woman awoke early Friday morning to find a burglar in her house. The thief tried to silence her screams [...]

Thief Arrested After Trying To Ransom Stolen Lemur

Jeremy Taylor — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 20:10:34 +0000

James Edward Welborn Jr. probably didn’t have primate theft on his mind when he broke into Julie Harris’s home in Mobile, Alabama. But there was Gizmo, a two-year old lemur, and Welborn allegedly snagged it along with Harris’s TV. The problem with stealing an exotic animal is that it is much more difficult to pawn off than [...]

World's Creepiest Mom French Kissed Jailed Son to Pass Him Drugs

Jeremy Taylor — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 16:42:50 +0000

Things got awkward when 54-year-old Kimberly Margeson visited her 30-year-old son William Partridge at the Yates County jail in upstate New York. That’s because the big open mouth kiss mom planted when greeting her boy included quite a bit of tongue. (“So that’s how it is in their family,” we can hear Mr. Rooney say.) But there [...]

Rude Girl Flips Off Judge, Gets 30 Days in Lockup

Emerald Catron — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 21:15:06 +0000

Left on her own without legal representation, this girl (who was awaiting arraignment for a first arrest) was in over her head. It probably also didn't help that she didn't get the sobering reality of being physically present in court to knock some sense into her, since this is a video arraignment taking place from jail, where she is nervous and surrounded by other inmates. Oh, and it doesn't help that this judge is clearly some kind of jerk.

Braying Getaway Donkey Foils Robbery

Jeremy Taylor — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 20:28:41 +0000

Three thieves wanted to knock over a small shop in the Columbian village of Juan de Acosta. For their getaway, they enlisted the services of a donkey. Or stole the service is more like it, as they had snatched 10-year-old Xavi from his pen 12 hours earlier. This proved to be a very bad idea. The [...]

Drunken Thief Was Too Bombed to Rob Little Caesars

Jeremy Taylor — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 17:15:45 +0000

Like so many of us have done, Ryan Hopkins made a bad decision while drunk. Unlike the rest of us, he decided to rob a Little Caesars. But the stick-up didn’t go quite the way he had (probably not) planned. It got off to a good enough start — Hopkins stumbled into a Lexington, Ken., [...]

YouTube Prankster Hauled to Jail for Giving Wedgies

Drew Weisholtz — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 19:14:58 +0000

Charles Ross has been caught with his pants down because his victims were caught with their pants up. Way up. Ross, 18, was arrested Sunday, for giving people wedgies outside a movie theater in Bradenton, Florida. Ross isn’t some overgrown high school bully; rather, it seems he was filming the spree to post on his [...]

Police Arrest Teen Thief by Following Trail of Cheetos to His Front Door

Donald Deane — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 15:35:41 +0000

As any thief worth his salt knows, a clean getaway is absolutely essential. Well, a South Carolina teen recently botched a robbery in a big way after police followed a trail of Cheetos right to his front door. (While that's not the thief pictured above, authorities should still be on the lookout for a hungry cheetah in human clothing.)

Subway 'Sandwich Artist' Fired Over Ketchup Dispute Gone Awry

Emerald Catron — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 20:57:31 +0000

Maybe Subway is stepping up their game a tad. They've made it abundantly clear that they now have avocados and sriracha sauce, and they will NOT be putting ketchup on anybody's sandwich. At all. They don't even have ketchup, and one employee was willing to fight to prove it. They don't call them sandwich artists for nothing.

Naked Samurai Goes on New Year's Day Rampage

Donald Deane — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 15:17:49 +0000

While most of us rang in the new year with a noisemaker and a drink or two, 29-year-old Coco Bennett celebrated by brandishing a samurai sword in front of police. Oh, and he was stark naked too, of course. According to reports, several San Jose residents called 911 after witnessing Bennett standing in front of [...]

Clerk Foils Robbery by Being on the Phone

Jeremy Taylor — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 21:35:58 +0000

The clerk at the Sheridan Mini Mart in East Bremerton, Washington probably isn’t the world’s greatest employee. In fact, when a woman came into the store at 10 PM Thursday night the slacker-in-question wouldn’t stop talking on his phone as she tried to grab his attention. His conversation was so engrossing that he didn’t even care that she [...]

2012′s Dumbest Criminals Are Painfully Dumb

Emerald Catron — Thu, 27 Dec 2012 19:24:33 +0000

It turns out to make it onto a list of the dumbest criminals, you have to actually be pretty dumb. Granted, we can't all be masterminds, but it probably doesn't take much to know you shouldn't make a YouTube video boasting about the bank you just robbed. Or tweet about punching a guy in the face. Nor should you get into a fist fight over a piece of birthday cake.

Homeowner Catches UPS Man Stealing Daughter's Just Delievered iPad

Jeremy Taylor — Fri, 21 Dec 2012 17:48:32 +0000

Al Alverson didn’t get the iPad mini that he had ordered through FedEx. However, the blame for the non-delivery rested squarely on UPS. The Houston, Texas man had been notified by Fed Ex that the iPad, which was to be a gift for his daughter, had been delivered while he was at work. But when [...]

Woman Returns Home From Work to Find Her Driveway Stolen

Jeremy Taylor — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 21:30:47 +0000

You’ve surely heard of highway robbery? It turns out that driveway robbery is also a thing (a very, very literal thing). When Florida woman Rachel McCarty returned home from her job Tuesday, she felt a strange bump as she pulled into her driveway. Then she “noticed there was definitely something missing in my peripheral vision.” [...]

Man Glues Ex-Girlfriend's Fridge Shut, For Some Reason

Dan Seitz — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 21:00:21 +0000

After a break-up, people have all sorts of odd ideas about how to deal with their pain. Dennis Homberg of Lykens, PA, apparently decided to get over his break up with… er… glue. Dennis carefully watched his ex’s apartment and then, while she was out, broke into her home and… glued her fridge shut. He [...]

Man Steals Ex's Engagement Ring, Gives It To His Wife

Jeremy Taylor — Sun, 09 Dec 2012 23:30:35 +0000

Donald Albritton’s marriage was going through a rough patch, so he turned to his ex-girlfriend for help. The catch is Megan White, the 35-year old’s former-flame, didn’t exactly get a say in the matter… That’s because Albritton swiped White’s engagement ring, planning to give the jewelry to his current wife as a peace offering. According [...]

Drug Courier Loses $20,000, Asks Tucson Police For Excuse Note

Dan Seitz — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 18:00:27 +0000

Granted, losing $20,000 of a drug cartel’s money is fairly panic inducing. That said, you do have to wonder what Demarco Alonzo Thomas was thinking when he called the police for a note excusing him from delivering $20,000. Thomas was unable to find the money and, in a panic, called the Tucson police. He asked [...]

Burglar Calls 911 on Homeowner

Jeremy Taylor — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 21:30:49 +0000

Early Tuesday morning, a 911 operator in Springtown, Texas, got a call from Lindy Gerow, who reported a burglar had just entered into her home. "You better come quick," she said, "or my husband's going to shoot him."

It the operator had any doubt about the severity of the situation it was confirmed by a concurrent call. This one from the home invader himself.

Real-Life Grinch Steals Christmas Decorations from Neighbors

Donald Deane — Wed, 05 Dec 2012 17:19:08 +0000

Sure, the holiday season can be a bit of a hassle sometimes, but we’ve never actually tried to ruin Christmas. This Texas man, however, fully embraced his Grinchy nature and was caught on camera stealing Christmas decorations from his neighbors. Surveillance footage shows the man as he pulls up to a home in San Antonio [...]

Dumb 'Chick Bank Robber' Brags About Crime on YouTube, Gets Busted

Jeremy Taylor — Tue, 04 Dec 2012 17:56:28 +0000

After robbing a bank, most criminals will try to lay low for a period of time. Not 19-year-old Hannah Sabata. The Stromsburg, Nebraska teen wanted to get credit for her ability to knock over a local bank for over $6,000 and also make off with a Pontiac Grand Am that didn’t belong to her. So, because she [...]

Real Life Grinch Busted for Telling Kids That Santa Doesn't Exist

Amanda Ferris — Wed, 21 Nov 2012 19:40:23 +0000

Bah, humbug! A Canadian Grinch ruined the annual holiday parade for dozens of children last Saturday. The intoxicated 24-year-old man, who hailed from Kingston, was arrested after police received a complaint. Parents informed authorities that this jerk ruined Christmas for their youngsters by walking up and down the parade lines and telling them that Santa Claus doesn't exist.

'Spider-Man' Busted for Mugging Woman

Donald Deane — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:49:01 +0000

In a move that will shock comic book fans everywhere, a California man was recently arrested after allegedly attempting to mug a woman while wearing a Spider-Man costume. Spidey, what have you done?! Police say 22-year-old Daniel James Bradley approached a 24-year-old woman in Merced, California, and demanded her purse. The woman thought Bradley was [...]

Rappers Rob Studio, Leave Song Behind as Evidence

Jeremy Taylor — Mon, 12 Nov 2012 17:22:01 +0000

Two men entered a recording studio as rappers and left as robbers. But its something they left behind that might do the thieves in.The pair didn’t have studio time scheduled when they knocked on the door of Copy Catz in Laurel, Maryland. However one of the groups that was recording allowed the men to join [...]