Several schools across the country have banned Flamin' Hot Cheetos because they are so unhealthy and dangerous to kids. What about these snacks? They seem *at least* as terrifying as something that promises to be hot as fire. It certainly can't be safe for kids to eat these. Also, we want some.

Lava Balls

Amazon

Not only are these spicy, they're probably also a great way to get a terrible nickname.

Devil Dogs

DrakesDevilDogs.com

Oh Cerberus, you tasty, tasty snack cake.

Nitro Takis

Esnaks.com

The snack so bad they had to name it after an American Gladiator

Red Hot Riplets Rap Snacks

Red Hot Riplets

These snacks distract from traditional education with their pimp education.

Clamato Chips

Taquitos.net

Everyone knows Clamato is the devil's drink.

Death Rain Fire Balls

Taquitos.net

3rd Degree Burn Doritos

Foodista

We prefer our snacks to destroy every layer of skin, thank you very much.

Sponch

Mobli

Because we're pretty sure "sponch" is the sound a dog makes when it barfs.

Every Kind of Goldfish Cracker Ever

Sodahead

Why is this thing smiling? Is it because it's EVIL???

Tohato Tyrant Habanero Burning Hell Hot

Fiery-Foods.com

No seriously, though, this is just terrifying.