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‘Laser Sharks’ Are Now a Terrifying Reality

Shark with laser beem
What We Do Media

Dr. Evil, of ‘Austin Powers’ fame, was a simple super villain. All he wanted was “sharks with frickin’ lasers attached to their heads.” Instead he got ill-tempered mutated sea bass. It was 1997, when the Mike Myers’ character made this notorious aquatic request. And, finally, someone has indulged him.

Luke Tipple, a shark handler and TV personality, has become the first insane megalomaniac person to merge futuristic technology with vicious sea predators. He did so in conjunction with commercial laser manufacturers Wicked Lasers, a real company that should be stopped immediately.

“This was definitely a world first,” Tipple told Wired, no doubt while cackling and stroking a white cat.

To be completely accurate, Tipple actually put the laser on the shark’s dorsal fin. Tipple was initially against fitting a shark with a laser because he thought is was “frivolous.” (Clearly “dangerous” and “potentially leading to a shark uprising” never sprung to mind.) However ,when he realized he could use the lasers to run tests on the sharks — for example it can help monitor the shark’s trajectory in real time — he went for it.

No word on how much the project cost Tipple. One million dollars maybe? Another photo of the mythical (for now) laser shark is below.

Shark with laser
What we do media

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