University of Maryland junior Rebecca Martinson's swear-riddled, histrionic email to her fellow Delta Gamma "sisters" has taken the internet by storm this week. But what if an actual cat were spewing that verbal venom? Or, say, a puppy? Wouldn't an elephant perhaps deliver the most effective punt of all?

And since Martinson just resigned from her position at Delta Gamma, we thought we'd put her words into the mouths of a bunch of adorable animals. Sigma Nu likes adorable animals. And really, isn't pleasing Sigma Nu what it's all about?

Christine Gritmon
Christine Gritmon
Christine Gritmon
Christine Gritmon
Christine Gritmon
Christine Gritmon
Christine Gritmon
Christine Gritmon
Christine Gritmon
Christine Gritmon
Christine Gritmon
Christine Gritmon