There's some big news for the pizza-eating community, which is to say there's big news for everyone. Now that we know dabbing pizza can reduce how many calories you eat, you may be inclined to eat more. Enter the Pizza Pouch:

Keep and carry a backup slice with this specially designed Pizza Pouch. A durable zip-lock sealing neck-strap pie slice device. Always fresh and ready.

Yes, in this nation of ours that is stuffed with obese and weary souls like a stuffed crust large pepperoni pie we can now carry pizza on the go and whip it out when the slightest pang of hunger hits. This is both genius and worrisome.

Stupiotic

Called "the best invention since delivery,"we're told "just wearing this Pizza Pouch will instantly make you more popular and attractive." While the jury remains on that bold claim, you probably will be the most intriguing person after a long night at the bars when everyone is craving a slice. Perhaps a bidding war for the pizza around your neck will break out?