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Patton Oswalt Is the Internet’s First ‘First’ Commenter

Patton Oswalt Webby Awards
Funny or Die

It’s hard to believe the Webby Awards are in their 16th year. Where were you in 1996? In a chat room? Wincing to the sound of your dial-up connection? Anyway, in this Funny or Die video, Webby Award host Patton Oswalt searches for the internet’s first commenter who commented, “first.”

We never really understood the “first!” phenomenon. Is there a scoring system we’re unaware of? How many points do you get? Where’s the scoreboard? Does it make you a master of discovery? Not a bad title to throw on the old resume.

Patton’s portrayal of Donny “Diamond” Ruiz helps us understand to a certain extent, but we’d love to meet the people obsessed with being first, lock them in a room and have a “First Off” to see who can compile the most “firsts.” Call it, “Firsts of Fury.”

The Webby Awards go down May 21st at 5:30pm ET at WebbyAwards.com.

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