Lady Gaga has earned her rep for lighting up the red carpet with splashy awards show ensembles, and during the leadup to this year's MTV VMAs, the network promised more of the same with a #whatwillgagawear Twitter hashtag.

As it turns out, the VMAs were opened by none other than her sideburned alter ego, Jo Calderone, who started things off by launching into a profane tirade about the end of his relationship with ... Lady Gaga.

"Lady Gaga, she left me," Calderone shouted. "I got crazy. But she’s f***ing crazy, too. She’s f***ing crazy." Puffing on a cigarette, he went on to talk about how she "gets out of the bed, puts on the heels, goes into the bathroom. I hear the water go on. She comes out of the bathroom dripping wet and she’s still got the heels on.” He then asked: “What’s with the hair? At first it was sexy. Now I’m confused."

Calderone's monologue was followed by a performance of Gaga's latest hit, 'You and I,' with a guest appearance by Queen guitarist Brian May. In a final burst of rock 'n' roll, Calderone climbed on top of the piano and sprayed the crowd with a shower of beer.

Check out the performance below:

[via PopCrush]