12 Highly Inappropriate Halloween Costumes for Children
Halloween is just around the corner and all of the costume stores and temporary Halloween shops will be selling out their stock as fast as possible before the clock ticks to midnight on October 31. That means that pickings will be slim for your son or daughter who have to wear a costume to roam the neighborhood in search of free candy.
If you're not careful, they might pick up a clearly inappropriate choice off the rack. Not only will this earn your family generations of therapy bills, but it will make you the object of ridicule and scorn at every PTA meeting for the rest of your life.
To save you the time, bother and psychosis that this all too common scenario will eventually bring, we did a little digging of our own and found some truly inappropriate costumes made for children. (Yes, you can buy pretty much all of these. Whether you should depends on whether you're ready for some uncomfortable questions from your kids.) So even if you don't have children to clothe for Halloween, at least you'll know which ones you should give an extra piece of candy to to help sweeten the doomed life that's ahead of them.
Baby cannibalism is creepy all by itself, but this outfit will make that fat aunt who keeps telling her nephews and nieces that she wishes she could "just eat them alive" even creepier.
Ironically, this will be the outfit that your teenager daughter will someday wear every day of her life to get back at you for not buying her an 'Angry Birds' costume when she was 9.
It's not only a great way to remind the neighborhood that homeland security starts at home, but it will also inspire you to learn where the nearest Child Protective Services office is and put their hotline number on your speed dial.
It's a great way to get back at your little one for all the times you had to change their smelly nuclear superfund of a diaper when they were a baby.
For every child who ever wanted to dance the can-can and hide out from the "fuzz."
Getting them this outfit is a great way to break the ice when your little one asks why they don't have a brother or sister yet.
Frankenstein's Bride? Meet Frankenstein's Rebound. Turns out, this is one of the top costumes of the year. Clearly 'Monster High' is the new Bratz. Get the pitchforks, folks. It's time to hunt down whoever made this costume.
Any costume with the word "Michael Jackson" and "boys" in the title should automatically be off limits.
The downside of this costume is that it teaches kids bad lessons about respecting women and racial stereotypes. The upside is they're learning about the wonders of capitalism.
It's the perfect outfit to help your little one forget about losing Fluffy. Also, it's an easy answer to their questions about where hot dogs come from.
This magical witch can help you make your parenting skills and the respect of fellow parents disappear with a dash of ground bat, an eye of newt and the swipe of a major credit card.
This will also be the outfit that your daughter will someday wear when she starts working at the sleazy cocktail lounge by the airport in order to get back at you for not buying her a Smurfette costume