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Here’s the Creepiest Kids Song Ever Written

Kids can be surprisingly morbid. It’s really only natural; ask any parent, and they’ll tell you stories of kids asking awkward questions and generally wrestling with the concept of mortality. This doesn’t mean, however, we should compose cute Raffi-like songs about death. That won’t stop Peter Alsop, though!

Honestly, taking a look at Alsop’s discography, we’re starting to feel like this guy is either the master of sending up children’s music, or possibly a 57th-Level Creepmaster in the Scary People’s Guild. His other CDs include songs like “Don’t Put Your Hand In My Pants”, “My Brother Threw Up On My Stuffed Toy Bunny” and “Poop Goes The Weasel” (we assure you: that last was not a typo), and we’re kind of hoping these are meant for adults.

And it’s not like he’s some crazy person, either, since according to Wikipedia he’s got a PhD in educational psychology, is married with two kids, and has worked as a schoolteacher.

So, actually, maybe he just doesn’t like kids that much.

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