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‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ Recap – Honey Boo Boo Has Her Cake and Water Slide Too

Honey Boo Boo Child
TLC/QuickMeme

Oh Honey Boo Boo, put down that pot of eye shadow! On this week’s ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,’ the family celebrates a birthday, Alana gets “beautimous” and we all get to meet Miss Georgia!  Let’s get to it!

We rejoin our favorite Georgians as June takes the family to a studio to beta test beauty products on daughter Alana. Apparently pageant makeup costs between $300-400 a pop, and June thinks she can save some money by learning how to do it herself. Of course Alana can’t sit still, and is ever so excited to demonstrate how to “smize” for producers.

Miss Jennifer, the makeup artist, applies product to the left side of Alana’s face before walking June through the “beautimacation” process on the right side. Apparently the family matriarch can’t see very well, and Alana complains that she has been turned into a “streetwalker.” Finally, after the limits of Miss Jennifer’s patience have been tested, the camera reveals June’s handiwork…or lack thereof. Alana tells everyone that her mother will, “never, ever, pever gonna touch my face again!”

Next up, June takes her poor vision and her brood to the VFW building for some bingo action to raise money for next week’s pageant. While she admits to being a big winner and raking in over a thousand dollars on her best day, Chubs claims to have no idea how to play. Alana is also given a quick crash course, and immediately starts decorating her cards, and any flat surface in her periphery.

Honey Boo Boo Bingo
TLC

We’re then treated (punished?) to a montage of poor sighted June and what she refers to as her bingo face — which looks roughly like the face of a person in desperate need of an optometrist.

Honey Boo Boo Bingo Face
Examiner/QuickMeme/TLC

When the family doesn’t win a 600 dollar pot, good sport Alana immediately accuses the victor of cheating, and June laments the money lost. After a near brush with jackpot ($1,000) greatness several rounds later, the dejected family goes home empty-handed.

The next day June and Alana head out to the Chic Boutique for a fashion date with Miss Georgia 2011, Michaela Lackey. The girls head inside, but not before Alana tries to break a chandelier and puts on on every pair of sunglasses in the joint. It’s then that we learn about Alana’s obsession with looking in the mirror, and her “bird” face.

Honey Boo Boo Child Mirror
TLC
Honey Boo Boo Child Mirror
TLC

Satisfied with the wares the trio has surveyed, Alana, June and Michaela head out for a bite to eat. The girls head to a bake shop, and Miss Georgia does her best to convince us that she eats cake, and that she isn’t completely freaked out by the family.

Miss Georgia Honey Boo Boo
TLC

After announcing that she has farted at the table, (and that she doesn’t think Miss Georgia has ever done so), Alana receives a signed head shot from Michaela, and carefully leaves the restaurant with her gift.

Later, Chubs, Chickadee and Pumpkin discuss plans for Alana’s 7th birthday. When it is revealed that their combined net worth is the roll of scotch tape Chickadee is playing with, Pumpkin sneaks into the pantry to forage for a gift. She returns with hot sauce, cereal and soap, which Chubs gleefully exclaims is an “awesome present.” One roll of tape later, and the gifts are wrapped.

We then head outside and Alana tells us about her birthday splendor, which consists of a pool, a huge water slide,  snow cone truck and bountiful food. The guests arrive and the slide is a big hit, so of course June has to experience it for herself…but can she pull herself all the way up? After a round of partygoers attempt to coax her up the slide, June realizes she can’t do it, and consoles herself with an almond coconut snow cone.

Then it’s time for presents! A delighted Alana thanks everyone for coming, dons a pair of birthday cake sunglasses and begins to tear through the packages with the strength of a properly sugared tasmanian devil. Just when you thought the baked goods per-episode limit had been reached, a pink-layered, tiara topped cake appears, and Alana blows out her candles to applause. June and the family are spent, but Alana says this has been her best birthday to date.

Well, that does it for this week’s country fried crazy! Oh, wait, except for Alana’s epic sneeze.

honey boo boo sneeze

Stay tuned for next week’s special one hour season finale extravaganza!

Honey Boo Boo Bye Bye GIF

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