We’re halfway through the third season of ‘Game of Thrones,’ and things slowed down a little bit for last night’s episode. Granted, there were still sword fights, executions and lots and lots of sex, but unless a dragon had blown up another city, anything was basically guaranteed to feel like a step down after the insanity of episode four. Let’s take a look at what happened. (As always, spoilers ahead. Also, it’s a HBO show with a lot of violence and other naughty things. So NSFW unless you work for King Joffrey.
The hound faces trial. And also his fear of fire. He comes out on top by slicing the other dude in half. (Don’t worry, the Lord of Light is crazy and totally brings that guy back from the dead.)
Obviously, this doesn’t sit very well with Arya, who really REALLY wanted the Hound to lose. On top of that, her only friend Gendry has decided to stay and be a smith for the Brotherhood.
Jon Snow, meanwhile, is having a considerably better day, as he chases Ygritte into a cave and they do it. Granted, this means he had to betray the Night’s Watch oath, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
As long as we’re discussing people in bathtubs, Jaime and Brienne totally took a bath together. Granted, it was significantly less sexy-pants, and probably had more to do with the Kingslayer not wanting to drown if he fainted after his stump surgery, but we did get to hear his side of the “I murdered the Mad King that one time” story.
Richard Karstark and his buddies murdered those two Lannister boys Robb Stark was holding prisoner. Robb decides the best thing to do is kill them back. Then Karstark’s army leaves and suddenly half of Robb’s forces are gone. He decides he should take over Casterly Rock anyhow.
Lady Tyrell and Tyrion Lannister have a meeting to discuss the cost of the Royal Wedding. We were all really excited that these two were talking to each other.
Stannis’s daughter has decided to teach Ser Davos how to read, while he’s a prisoner in their dungeon.
Daenerys is trying to liberate her slaves and set them free. She wants them all to abandon their slave names, but this guy insists he actually likes being called Grey Worm.
Margaery has been getting Sansa all amped up to marry her brother. There’s just one problem —
Aside from the “he’s into dudes” thing, Tywin Lannister is having none of it. In fact, he orders Tyrion to marry Sansa instead. Which makes Cersei raise her eyebrows and do her gloat-face thing.
Then Tywin says she has to marry the gay brother, and her smirk quickly disappears. She begs for a little bit, the tone turns decidedly dark, and then the episode is over.
Oh, that Tywin Lannister. What a jerk! See you next week!
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