Five Year Old Explains Cthulhu

Are you ready to get taken to school by a kindergartner? Five year old Harper's got some things to teach us about the terrifying Outer Gods that slumber beneath Earth's seas. Watch and learn!

We're hoping we weren't the only ones unfamiliar with the origin story of Cthulhu. Just in case, let's give you a brief rundown. The character is a fictional deity of sorts, created by the writer H.P. Lovecraft in a short story 'The Call of Cthulhu,' which was published in the 1928 pulp magazine 'Weird Tales.'

Now, thanks to Harper's video, here's what else we've learned:

• Cthulhu is hard to say
• He's a troublemaker
• He's part octopus, part dragon, and has a lot of tentacles. Plus, he supposedly smells really bad
• When people meet him they go crazy. It's like eating too much sugar... but times a million

So, why would little Harper care to make a video? As is so often the case, she was persuaded with the promise of being taken to the toy store — in this instance, by her uncle. (You'd better have paid up on the promise, Uncle!) But naturally, there was an ulterior motive: he needs help funding his movie, 'Call Girl of Cthulhu', a horror sex-comedy inspired by the works of Lovecraft. To which we have nothing to say, except maybe "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah-nagl ftaghn!"