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Heartbroken, Desperate-for-Girlfriend Elephant Destroys 20 Cars in a Fit of Loveless Rage

Hell hath no fury like an elephant scorned.

An elephant in China recently went on a rampage — for the third time in a week — damaging 20 cars in a tourist area because he was devastated after he lost a fight for a mate.

A throng of witnesses watched as the pachyderm wreaked all sorts of havoc.

Get another look at the elephant going bananas below.

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While the male elephant is still despairing another male proving who’s the alpha male and thus the dude all the female elephants should swoon over, there’s at least some good news for the people who own cars that were damaged: the government will foot the bill for the repairs.

You gotta feel some twinge of sympathy for the elephant, too, since he lost the fight right around Valentine’s Day. That definitely hurts. We can only imagine that he retreated back to the forest somewhere scarfing down on Häagen-Dazs while listening to “All By Myself.”

Our advice to the elephant? Get back to the peanut diet, check out Tinder and get into therapy.

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