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Dope Tries to Steal ATM With Backhoe, Abysmally Fails

Never send a machine to do a man’s job.

Police in Maryland Prince George’s County are on the lookout for a man who unsuccessfully used a stolen backhoe to pilfer an ATM last week.

Surveillance video captured the amazingly disastrous scene. You can see just how quickly his plan was foiled.

“He used the bucket to peel away the ATM’s outer wrapping…it was unsuccessful,” said a police spokesman. “He was not able to get any money out of the ATM but he caused about $10,000 worth of damage.”

The suspect, who is somehow still on the loose, reportedly drove the backhoe five miles before reaching the ATM where he became the star of the tragicomic crime.

Let’s just hope someone clues him in on what it really means when someone says, “I’m going to take out some money.”

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