If you try to make a monkey out of Donald Trump he won't hesitate to sue you.

That's the lesson from "The Donald's" bizarre lawsuit against comedian and talk show host Bill Maher, who had joked that he would pay $5 million to a charity of Trump's choice if he could prove he was not the "spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan."

Trump has since provided a birth certificate which says he is the son of Fred Trump, not an orangutan, and he is demanding that Maher pay up.

The context of Maher's quip, which he made during an interview with Jay Leno in October, was that Trump had just offered to pay $5 million to a charity of Barack Obama's choice if the president made public his college grades and travel records.

Whether or not you think Maher's joke was funny probably has to do with your political persuasion and fondness for bawdy simian-related humor. However, everybody can probably agree that Maher wasn't being serious in his offer. Everybody but Trump, that is.

"I don't think he was joking. He said it with venom. That was venom. That wasn't a joke. In fact, he was nervous when he said it. It was a pathetic delivery," Trump explained during an interview on Fox News.

Trump admits he probably won't win the lawsuit, but claims he owes it to the charities which would benefit to pursue legal action.

Fred Trump died in 1999. So if this thing ever does go to trial the burden of proof could get tricky. Maher really should've gone with something in the hamster family. That would explain Trump's hair.