‘Darth Vader’ Robs Bank With Gun, Possibly ‘The Force’
Darth Vader may be a fearsome Jedi master, but it seems even he needs some extra cash now and then. Last week, a man wearing a Darth Vader mask successfully robbed a bank in Ohio then fled the scene on a BMX bike. Did you forget where you parked your TIE fighter, Lord Vader?
According to authorities, the masked man robbed a bank in Toledo on May 23rd around 3pm and escaped with an undisclosed amount of cash. What’s more, his weapon of choice wasn’t a lightsaber. Instead, he used a semi-automatic pistol. How gauche! Doesn’t he know that blasters are clumsy and random?
Witnesses described the robber as an African-American in his mid-20s, somewhere between five feet, 10 inches and six feet tall. He was reportedly wearing a black hoodie, black sweatpants and the mask. No word on whether he was breathing heavily.
The crook is still at large, but if you see him on the streets, don’t attempt to apprehend him yourself. Instead, call the police (or Luke Skywalker) for help.