Awesome VHS Covers Remind Us Why Netflix Can Never Trump the Video Store
Listen, we love/hate nothing more than wasting an entire weekend hiding from all of our friends and re-watching ‘Bones’ on Netflix, and we’re grateful to not have to wait for USA to do another ‘SVU’ marathon, but there are just some things Netflix Instant can’t replace.
Growing up, you would aimlessly wander the aisles of your local video store, looking for nothing in particular, waiting for something to catch your eye. The old adage “don’t judge a book by its cover” definitely did NOT apply. Who knew what horrible treasures you might find? Seriously, so many of those movies were so awful that it’s a wonder they even exist. And yet, there they were, in plain sight, not too far from ‘Gone With the Wind’ or at least ‘Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.’
Do you know how hard it is to find crap of this caliber on Netflix? You have to really, really try. And it used to be so easy. Other than the oppressive late fees, rewinding and limited options that were rarely updated, the video store was a relatively uncomplicated way to pick out a few movies. With ‘Rewind This!,’ a documentary love letter to the VHS era, currently touring the country, we thought we’d offer just a few tantalizing films you could have picked up on any given day without much work at all.
Yeah — you’re never getting those sunglasses back. Spooky!
Four of your nightmares are about to come true. Probably not the one where you lose all your teeth, though.
A happily married young woman turns into a murderous demon? Is this a horror film or an Adam Sandler movie?
“Warning: Viewing may cause severe damage to your brain cells.” That’s probably exactly what every parent said when they caught their child watching this movie.
You could rent this if ‘Joe’s Apartment’ wasn’t available.
With a tagline like this, how could you rent anything else?
Clearly trying to appeal to people who wanted to rent ‘Critters,’ but somehow ALL the ‘Critters’ movies were gone, and the only ‘Ghoulies’ left was the first one, which frankly isn’t even that enjoyable even though it has Jack Nance as a wizard, which is really saying something.
We’re guessing this is a Weird Al-type parody of ‘Flashdance’ / awesome precursor to ‘Showgirls.’ We can’t say for certain, because there is honestly no way our parents would have ever let us rent this.
Is he father … mother … friend … warlock … or ORSON WELLES??????? In a world before IMDB, the only way to know about this stuff was to trawl around the horror section. Or talk to your weird uncle. Probably better to trawl.