Just trying to fit in.
Neal Lynch
No. 3: Mrs. Mills – 50 Worst Album Covers
'All Time Party Dances and Other Favourites'
Remember Mimi Bobeck on 'The Drew Carey Show'? We think we just found her fictional mother. Pop some blue eye shadow on this ball of fun, tone down the chipper attitude, and it'd be a carbon copy of Mimi...
No. 2: William Hung – 50 Worst Album Covers
'Hung for the Holidays'
She bangs. She bangs... her stockings with care. The man who won the world over after his off-key rendition of Ricky Martin's 'She Bangs' on the third season of 'American Idol' dropped this merry album on us in October 2004...
No. 1: Shut Up and Dance – 50 Worst Album Covers
'Dance Before the Police Come!'
When we first laid eyes on this cover, we were completely baffled as to which of the two chunks of text was the group's name. Turns out it's Shut Up and Dance, which could be one of the best band names we've ever had the fortune of reading but here's where we get a little uneasy...
No. 49: Boned – 50 Worst Album Covers
'Up at the Crack'
We're not really morning people, so the idea of waking up to a dude poking us in the face with his axe sticking out of his jeans will definitely get us up and at 'em no matter what time of day.
The band's name and title does make us wonder if they're saying they rock you all night long 'til the break of dawn or if they're just early risers...
No. 41: Devastatin’ Dave – 50 Worst Album Covers
'Zip Zap Rap'
Remember 'Zapped,' the 1982 sci-fi comedy starring Scott Baio as a nerd who gains telekinetic powers? Something tells us Devastatin' Dave (The Turntable Slave) was tremendously inspired by that slice of cinematic excellence...
No. 43: Country Church – 50 Worst Album Covers
'Country Church'
We all know women love a man in uniform and there's nothing sexier than plaid pants and a tank-top/vest over turtleneck combo. The woman pictured sure loves the hay out of it.
We'd like to think the blonde dude is the rebel of the pack -- the black sheep, if you will...
No. 42: Tino – 50 Worst Album Covers
'Por Primera Vez'
When translated, the title means "For the First Time." It's THE track to play on prom night or during your first skydiving lesson.
The singer -- Constantino Fernandez Fernandez, aka 'Tino' -- had been a member of a child band called Ludo aka Parcheesi when he was 12...
No. 44: Svetlana Gruebbersolvik – 50 Worst Album Covers
'My Lips Are For Blowing'
Here's a cover that falls into the 'Taste of Dick Black' category. To think of all the sorely confused and disappointed men out there who have to settle for some whimsical recorder music brings us chuckles.
More importantly, holy last name...
No. 25: Knorkator – 50 Worst Album Covers
'Hasenchartbreaker'
Know how we mentioned the "Governator" in the Manowar album cover entry? Turns out this German heavy metal band is into that kind of suffix. While Knorkator sounds cool, its loose translation puts it on par with the fairly outdated expression, "swell...
No. 26: Manowar – 50 Worst Album Covers
'Anthology'
We all loved Conan the Barbarian as much as the next "Governator," but this look isn't the loud and bombastic aesthetic that ManOWar's eardrum-busting music calls for.
You might think to yourself, well, the technology in the '80s wasn't as advanced as it is now...
No. 29: Eulenspygel – 50 Worst Album Covers
'2'
This is actually PETA's favorite album cover. Believe it or not, this cover caused quite the scandal and was later substituted -- scrambled instead of sunnyside up.
We don't get what the big deal is. The image finally settles the debate of which came first, the chicken or the egg...
No. 19: Swamp Dogg – 50 Worst Album Covers
'If I Ever Kiss It... He Can Kiss It Goodbye'
Jerry Williams, Jr. took on the moniker 'Swamp Dogg' in 1970, which is the earliest iteration of 'Dogg' we know of. Thus, that makes him the original doggfather.
There are a ton of ways you could interpret the title, but we have to believe that he's referring to performing oral sex on a dude...
No. 18: Roger – 50 Worst Album Covers
'The Many Facets of Roger'
Wait, wait... facets? Or faces? We know he can look happy, seductive, inquisitive, ashamed, reflective, amused, impressed, intimidating and mischievous, but the dude only has one outfit.
Don't get us wrong, it's a killer costume -- it's on our short list for Halloween 2012 -- but this just looks like a roller coaster of a night...
No. 17: Fireballet – 50 Worst Album Covers
'Two, Too'
This prog rock group had a pretty decent debut album that was produced by Ian MacDonald. The follow up, which you see to the left, not so much. It would be their last.
The three guys on the left appear to be blown away by gunfire or an explosion...
No. 20: Eilert Pilarm – 50 Worst Album Covers
'Eilerts Jul" (Eilert's Christmas)
This could be the worst impression of the King we've ever seen. Where's the sneer? And the glasses?
Even the Santa hat is off. Instead of a puffy ball at the tip, it looks like a jock sock... a holy hammer sheath...