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Kevin Maher

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5 Awesome Trailers for Awful Horror Films

Sometimes great movies have terrible trailers, and you wind up never seeing a movies that eventually win Oscars, and then you have nothing to talk about at dinner parties for half a year. On the other hand, sometimes terrible movies have GREAT trailers, and when all is said and done you wind up wondering why you just wasted 92 minutes of your life. These are those trailers. Consider yourself warned. We present "awesome trailers for bad movies: horror edition." (Note: Some trailers are NSFW.)

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Category: Humor, Lists, Movies, Video
'Lord of the Rings' animated movie, 'Making the Grade,' 'Masters of the Universe'
Fantasy Films/The Cannon Group/Warner Bros.
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9. ‘Making the Grade’ (1984) — Sequels That Never Happened

This Prince-and-the-Pauper movie follows a prep school snob (Palmer Woodrow the III) trading places with a street kid (Eddie, played by Judd Nelson). Hilarity ensues with plenty of belching, breakdancing and a standout performance by then-unknown Andrew “Dice” Clay. During the closing credits, viewers are informed that Palmer and Eddie will be back in 'Tourista.'  But the poor box office killed the sequel and the closest we’ve come to 'Tourista' is the 2008 backpacker horror film 'Turistas.'

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Category: Special Features
'Lord of the Rings' animated movie, 'Making the Grade,' 'Masters of the Universe'
Fantasy Films/The Cannon Group/Warner Bros.
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8. ‘Doctor Detroit’ (1983) — Sequels That Never Happened

Another fish-out-of-water comedy was 1983’s 'Doctor Detroit,' in which Dan Aykroyd plays a nerdy college professor who assumes the role of a freaky urban pimp with a metal hand. At the film’s end, after Dr. Detroit defeats his rival pimp (an older woman named “Mom”) the closing credits warn us that there’s to be a sequel titled 'Doctor Detroit II: The Wrath of Mom.'  (A play upon the Star Trek sequel 'The Wrath of Khan.') While this was probably a gag, we're still waiting for the return of Howard Hesseman's "Smooth Walker."

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Category: Special Features
'Lord of the Rings' animated movie, 'Making the Grade,' 'Masters of the Universe'
Fantasy Films/The Cannon Group/Warner Bros.
[

7. ‘Airplane III’ — Sequels That Never Happened

After the credits roll, an advertisement appears for 'Airplane III' and William Shatner (who had a cameo in 'Airplane II: The Sequel') says, “that’s exactly what they’ll be expecting us to do.”  For all the gags in 'Airplane II: The Sequel,' one thing was serious-- Paramount wanted to make a third film, to be directed by David Zucker, who co-wrote and co-directed the first movie. But lead actor Robert Hays turned down the project, because he didn’t want to be typecast. Instead, Hays went on to play the title character in ABC’s sci-fi drama 'Starman' (based on the Jeff Bridges movie of the same name).

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Category: Special Features
'Lord of the Rings' animated movie, 'Making the Grade,' 'Masters of the Universe'
Fantasy Films/The Cannon Group/Warner Bros.
[

5. ‘Lord of the Rings’ (1978) — Sequels That Never Happened

The original title of Ralph Bakshi’s animated epic was 'The Lord of the Rings: Part One.' The 'Fritz the Cat' director had negotiated to produce all three of J.R.R. Tolkien’s books into two films. But the studio believed no one would pay to see half of a movie (unless that movie was 'Harry Potter 7'). Consequently, the film ends without a satisfying resolution and there was no sequel. Years later, Arthur Rankin and Jules Bass (makers of the 1977 'Hobbit' movie) delivered a made-for-TV version of 'Return of the King.' Despite its eventual live-action adaption, 'The Two Towers' just couldn't catch a break in animation.

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Category: Special Features
'Lord of the Rings' animated movie, 'Making the Grade,' 'Masters of the Universe'
Fantasy Films/The Cannon Group/Warner Bros.
[

4. ‘Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins’ (1985) — Sequels That Never Happened

When MGM adapted the 'Destroyer' book series, they must have been confident that the 140+ books would create the next James Bond. In fact, they were so confident they titled their film 'Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins.' But a lukewarm performance at the box office ended the movie series. Surprisingly the adventure continued on television. In 1988, ABC aired the pilot for a 'Remo Williams' TV series, featuring an unrecognizable Roddy McDowell as Korean martial arts guru Chiun. (Watch a clip above.)

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Category: Special Features
'Lord of the Rings' animated movie, 'Making the Grade,' 'Masters of the Universe'
Fantasy Films/The Cannon Group/Warner Bros.
[

3. ‘Masters of the Universe’ (1987) — Sequels That Never Happened

Spoiler Alert: The live-action 'Masters of the Universe' movie ends with Dolph Lundgren’s He-Man defeating the evil Skeletor (Frank Langella) by throwing him into a pit of doom. The credits roll and all’s right with the world. But then, Skeletor pops his ugly skull out of the boiling waters and he tells viewers “I’ll be back!” (Watch him say it in German above. You can watch the actual scene here.) There was never another feature film, so presumably bone-brain was referring to the 1990 cartoon 'The New Adventures of He-Man.'

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Category: Special Features
'Lord of the Rings' animated movie, 'Making the Grade,' 'Masters of the Universe'
Fantasy Films/The Cannon Group/Warner Bros.
[

2. ‘Bubba Ho-Tep’ — Sequels That Never Happened

'Bubba Ho-Tep' is a horror-comedy that pits an elderly Elvis Presley against a soul-sucking Mummy in a West Texas nursing home. Director Don Coscarelli added a gag at the end of the film, claiming that there’d be a prequel: “Elvis returns in 'Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires.'” Fans took it seriously, including actor Paul Giamatti who volunteered to play Elvis’ manager, Colonel Tom Parker. Giamatti continues to champion the film, and has since teamed-up with director Coscarelli in the upcoming 'John Dies in the End.' (Watch Giamatti discuss the potential sequel in the video above.)

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Category: Special Features
'Lord of the Rings' animated movie, 'Making the Grade,' 'Masters of the Universe'
Fantasy Films/The Cannon Group/Warner Bros.
[

10 Movies That Promised Sequels That Never Happened

The 1978 'Superman' film made a bold move. During the closing credits, four words appear on screen "NEXT YEAR: SUPERMAN II." Over the next three decades, this gimmick was used time and time again. More often than not, when a movie boasts a sequel, it never happens.

Here are 10 examples of sequels we were promised, but never got to see. 

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Category: Lists, Movies, Video

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