Dan Seitz
Professional writer for Uproxx.com, GammaSquad.com, Guyspeak.com, Guyism.com, Zug.com, and innumerable other sites. He writes the Internet, basically.
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Ronald McDonald Broke The Law By Going To McDonald’s
You'd think if your name is Ronald McDonald, you would be welcome in any of the thousands of McDonald's restaurants around the world.
In certain situations, however, this is not the case.
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Beaverton Police Take Hamster Into Protective Custody
Pulling over a driver suspected of being impaired is unfortunately far too common for most police officers.
Having to take a hamster into protective custody, on the other hand, is somewhat outside the usual scope of police duty. And yet, in Beaverton, OR, they were called on to do just that.
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Sedated Dog Sounds Just Like Chewbacca
This is Aero. He went to the vet for treatment, which he recovered handily. But in the meantime, this is what he sounds like when he's expressing displeasure under sedation. The results sound eerily similar to Chewbacca:
So that's how they did it!
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Big Tex, Beloved Landmark, Burns In Accidental Fire
Big Tex, the beloved mascot of the Texas State Fair who stood at the gates greeting fairgoers for sixty years, caught fire yesterday. Even the hardest-bitten cowboy is shedding a tear today.
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Drunk Stops Musician In The Street, Performs Sweet Impromptu Duet
Usually when a musician is dealing with a drunk, it usually ends in awkwardness or a funny story. But for Logan Afyouni, it actually ended in one of the sweeter impromptu duets we've ever seen. Afyouni tutors the man on "My Darling Caroline" and then... well, then the mag
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Is This The Origin Of Homer Simpson?
In the "weird coincidences" file, we've got this cartoon, which was first published in 1949 in a magazine in Iceland. Yeah, they look fairly similar... but wait until you see the whole cartoon.
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Paddleboarder Saves Shih Tzu Puppy With Ten Minutes To Spare
Charlie Head is already the kind of guy who kind of makes you look bad, and he's about to make you look worse. He's an extreme paddleboarder who was on his way from Cornwall to London when he happened to notice something on a small collection of rocks
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Shower Cat Enjoys Bathing With His Human
Cats rather famously do not like water. Except when they do like water, because then, apparently, they love it. Witness this kitty in the shower, who seems to be enthralled with the streams of water coming out of it and not to mind getting soaked
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NASA To Market Motion-Sickness Nasal Spray
If you get motion sick, you're probably looking for any form of relief. And a source of it is coming from an unlikely place: NASA.
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Man Tries To Cook Squirrel With Blowtorch, Burns Down Apartment Complex
If you're going to cook and eat a squirrel, for some inexplicable reason, we can stake with confidence that a blowtorch is not the way to go about doing it.