Professional writer for Uproxx.com, GammaSquad.com, Guyspeak.com, Guyism.com, Zug.com, and innumerable other sites. He writes the Internet, basically.
Dan Seitz
3-Year-Old Genius Is Still Just a Kid
Many parents insist their child is a genius. Emmelyn Roetteger, however, has the paperwork to prove it. She scored a 135 on an IQ test, and was thus accepted into MENSA.
She is, on the other hand, still a toddler, as this bit from the Today Show shows us.
Treat Your Momma Right, The Gary Busey Way
Jimmy Kimmel is pretty funny. Fortunately, he's also humble enough to defer to people who are even funnier than he is, which is why he aired some of Gary Busey's advice for Mother's Day. Here's what Busey had to say; see if you agree.
Drunk Driver Had Monkey In His Truck
Any police officer will tell you that dealing with a drunk driver can be extremely strange. After all, drunk people aren't noted for their calm, reasonable reactions to a stressful situation, or their refusal to engage in ridiculous hijinks. Still, one drunk driver might take the cake, considering that he had a monkey for the officers.
Dishwasher Cat Will Clean Up Your Mess
Cats are noted for their personal cleanliness, and even fussiness. Just ask anybody who's tried to move the litterbox. But they rarely pick up around the house, so Dishwasher Cat is a welcome change of pace.
Russian Pothole Doubles As a Swimming Pool
Far be it from us to engage in political theory, but we're pretty sure that paying your road workers in just enough bread to survive results in crappy roads. Fortunately, we have some anecdotal evidence that proves our point, right here. Just skip to about 15 seconds into this video, and you'll see what we mean.
Coldplay’s Touching Tribute to Adam Yauch
We can't really think of two bands with more different styles, but everybody was deeply affected by the passing of Adam Yauch, aka MCA of The Beastie Boys. Coldplay had a concert yesterday, and put together this tribute to mark his passing.
Berkeley Student Automates His Dorm Room
Some college freshmen are more challenged at their school than others. But we're going to venture a guess here and say Derek Lowe wasn't feeling terribly intellectually stretched by his classwork. Hence his ongoing effort to turn his dorm room into a giant robot.
Check Out The New “Dark Knight Rises” Trailer
The biggest movie of the summer just released its final trailer ahead of "The Avengers" hitting theaters. You'll find it, and some speculation, under the cut.
Here’s the Creepiest Kids Song Ever Written
Kids can be surprisingly morbid. It's really only natural; ask any parent, and they'll tell you stories of kids asking awkward questions and generally wrestling with the concept of mortality. This doesn't mean, however, we should compose cute Raffi-like songs about death. That won't stop Peter Alsop, though!
Comedian Fools KTLA Into Believing His Nerd Character Is Real
Nathan Barnatt is probably familiar to fans of the Upright Citizens Brigade, and beloved by classic video game fans for his Keith Apicary character. Keith is a completely clueless nerd who loves two things: video games and dancing. He's instantly recognizable to meme fans...but not, apparently, to a professional news organization which has paid fact checkers to keep them from being fooled like t
This Husky Just Wants to Hold Your Hand
Dogs tend to love riding in cars, but not all of them enjoy it. Some just won't get in at all. And others are willing to take a ride, but, like this Husky, they need a little reassurance.
Lung Cancer “Spot” Was Just Fruit Pit Inhaled in 1984
Blanca Riveron was struggling, as many Americans do, with lung trouble. After decades of coughing, asthma attacks, and other problems, doctors had recently found a spot on her lung. So lung cancer was probably on her mind when she had a massive coughing attack...and spat out a fruit pit.
Penguins Leap Adorably, Sometimes Miss, Still Cute
It's universally accepted that penguins are incredibly cute. And this video just proves the point; even when they don't stick the landing, penguins are adorable. Also, they can leap surprisingly far for a bird that can't fly.
Got Too Many Tickets In Las Cruces? The City Will Shut Off Your Toilet.
The city of Las Cruces, New Mexico, is in a bit of a bind. Due to the way the laws are set up, they're unable to bring traffic scofflaws who run red lights to court and make them pay their tickets. As a result, the city has over $2 million in unpaid tickets that seem impossible to collect.
Unfortunately for the bad drivers, though, the city does have access to something else: their toilets.
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Bag + Cat + Gravity = Ouch
Cats love bags and boxes. They are, in fact, infamous for cramming themselves into tiny spaces. Unfortunately, sometimes these spaces aren't as stable as they think.