Chris Illuminati

It's a classic stare-down: cat stares at dog, dog stares at cat and viewer stares at screen wondering what the heck is taking them so long. Come on fellas! Out of your respective corners and let's get this fight going.

Cat versus dog. Who you got?

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Professional wrestling is the only sport where the athlete gets to choose a goofy pseudonym (unless we're counting footballer Chad Ochocinco). Their best bet is to choose a moniker that sounds tough and strikes a sense of fear in the hearts of opponents and fans. And what do people fear? Scary weather and natural disasters, judging by the reactions to Tuesday's minor earthquake and the impending Hurricane Irene.

Thus, we give you eight professional wrestlers who named themselves after natural disasters:

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Annoying Childhood Friend, a new meme making the rounds today, is kind of like the ghost of friendships past. We all had a "pal" in our youth bend the rules to his advantage or sell you out when trouble arose.

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I'm not sure of the connection of these two young girls to Baby New Year bopping on the couch but I can only assume they aren't of blood relation. No relative could be so cruel as to let a loved one appear on a video in just his genital huggers and then, even after allowing him to fall butt-over-teacups off the sofa, allow tape to continue to roll.

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Inventor Bob Balow understands that common folk don't want a man of his superior genius working on cures for cancer or a way to get 'Dharma & Greg' back on television. Sure, those would be nice, but what the people really demand is an easier way to shovel food into their mouth. Bob Balow is a man of the people and those people yearn for the Spaghetti-Pasta-Noodle Fork.

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